Cringeworthy Sex Memoir Forces Lib Candidate To Drop Out Of Election Race

Victorian Liberal preselection candidate Nigel Gohl has dropped out of the race for the seat of Prahran after a book he wrote in 2005 titled ‘Around The World In 80 Babes‘ resurfaced. Fellow Liberal party members have been, uh, less than impressed with the book’s content. 
illustrated by WikiHow
As you might expect from the title, the self-published book is a combination travel memoir/dating manual, described on Booktopia as:

“A modern cassonova’s [sic] account of his success in pursuing chicks, babes, and women from Melbourne to London to the Greek Islands and beyond and how he overcame vocational and sexual boredom.”
Chicks, babes and women.
Aside from being disastrously sexist, it’s also astonishingly poorly written. We know this thanks to The Age, who have kindly republished the following excerpts, despite the book being unavailable on

“While I loved pounding her athletic body, she bored me to tears with her desires to spend Saturday AND Sunday mornings going for walks and picnics. […]

“After detaching myself from the picnic lifestyle and knowing that I could now fart freely in bed, I became a happy man. […]

“In relation to chicks, my life definitely started to resemble ’54’. By focusing my efforts seven days a week, I became amazed as to how many chicks I could add to my schedule. […]

“…the quicker you can get the first date out of the way and the time needed for a girl to feel comfortable with you, the quicker you start getting laid! It started to become common practice for me to meet a girl on Friday night, have a drink on Tuesday or Wednesday before a most excellent bonking session the following Saturday night. […]

“When applying ‘System One’, every now and then you will find that a mid-week drink may turn into a bonking session.”
Oh, and the book opens with Gohl bragging about bringing a woman to her third orgasm in one 40-minute shag. 
Only three, Nigel?
According to The Age, Gohl, a mortgage broker, is now 42 and happily married; and sure, this book was written 12 years ago. Of course, that would mean Gohl was a full 30 years old when he decided it would be a cool idea to inexpertly ape The Game, so maybe having it come back to bite him isn’t so unjust.
If you’re fanging to get your hands on a copy, there’s still one or two in the National Library of Australia, apparently. Better be quick. 
Source: The Age.
Image: Twitter / @Nigel_Gohl.