Bless those politicians who make monitoring the election coverage a pleasant, welcome distraction from the sickening headlines #Auspol inspires, whirring Australian media consumers in to a bleak pool of sorrow and resent.
Day one of the election campaign kicked off with its fair share of pollies taking over TV and radio, drawling incessantly over their same paraphrasing of “look, the other dude sucks, vote for me.” Relief from their smug faces reveling in some old fashioned trash talk came from a horrendous PR nightmare that was Western Sydney‘s Liberal Party candidate Jaymes Diaz’s fleeting, theatrical press-suicide interview with Channel 10.
Confronted by the question from a Channel 10 reporter asking Diaz to detail his six point plan to “stop the boats”, Diaz dodged and refused the question explicitly, because why should politicians answer questions about policies anyway, you guys. When further prompted if the Liberal party would be kicking up company tax, a triumphant wave of holy shit submerges over Diaz’s face; you can actually pinpoint the second his heart rips in half.
But no, it wouldn’t be the debut of the 2013 election with only one, isolated politician stuff up: an ALP candidate has pulled out of his electoral race after it was revealed he used to be Liberal Party member (woops) and Liberal MP Peter Dowling was involved in a sexting scandal, with pictures of his schlong sitting pleasantly in a glass of red wine that he sent to his mistress being exposed. Well now, this lead up to the election isn’t so bad after all, is it? Keep fucking up as you do, politicians; don’t change a thing.
Watch Jaymes Davis’ hurtling train wreck of an interview below: