We’ve seen already in this 2013 election international comedy festival campaign cycle an unthinkable, unprecedented and wildly entertaining (but also sad) number of gaffes, fuck ups and missteps we will all remember with fondness fifteen years from now on an episode of 20 to 1 hosted by Bert Newton’s hologram.
Western Sydney’s Liberal Party candidate and hapless victim of I have no idea what the fuck I am talking about Jaymes Diaz embarrassed himself when he spruiked a six point plan drawn to “stop the boats” of which, when pressed, he knew exactly zero steps. He swiftly moonwalked out of the interview. One Nation candidate for Queensland electorate Rankin, Stephanie Banister, did him one better and performed a terrific piece of revisionist history, claiming that Islam was a real place that existed somewhere in the world and that Jews were betrothed to JC during a train wreck interview with Channel Seven. Then Liberal National Party member for Redlands, insatiable #thirsty bro Peter Dowling sexted his mistress a picture of his penis swimming in a glass of red wine. The less said about that the better.
It begs the questions: Surely some leniency should be afforded to politicians who have to answer stupid questions they might not know the answers to or use stupid words they might not know the definition of. That was pretty much the case when our potential future leader Tony Abbott addressed a crowd of Liberal faithfuls at a launch event in the Melbourne electorate of Deakin yesterday. “No one,” Mr Abbott declared. “However smart, however well educated, however experienced, is the suppository of all wisdom.”
Which is just another way of saying that regardless of one’s education or experience levels, no one – and he means no one – is a drug delivery system inserted into the rectum.
Which, unquestionably true but highly irrelevant, Mr Abbott.
Maybe Sarah Palin wasn’t as horrible as we thought?
