An Aussie teen has found a frog in her Coles lettuce bag and I’m going off leaves for the rest of the year, thanks.

On the 15th of May, 19-year-old Queenslander Zara Bailey discovered that the bag of lettuce she and her mother and brother had been eating contained a literal froggy surprise. A little amphibian amie. A mini-Kermit. I’m talking, of course, of a camouflaged fucking green tree frog right in my fucking salad.

The most cooked part of this story is that Zara and her family ate some of the lettuce before they realised it had its own swampy dressing. In a Facebook post according to Seven News, the university student explained that she had washed, drained, and chopped up some of the lettuce in the bag, before putting it back in the fridge. A few days later, it had started to go off so she decided to throw it out, only to find a six-centimeter long green tree frog vibing in the greens.

All I gotta say is Kermit, dude, what the hell are you doing here?

Coles Lettuce frog
Look at him. Not a phone in sight. Just pure unfiltered and natural vibes.

“The frog decided to stay hidden in the lettuce until I was just about to throw away the bag and I saw some little eyes looking up at me,” Zara said in the post, per Seven News.

“I was completely stunned when I saw him in there, I nearly dropped the bag out of shock.

“But pretty quickly I was so excited to find that he was still alive and we could save him! He was a pretty big frog.”

After she discovered her new ribbiting resident, Zara put him in a strawberry container before taking him to—what is I think the cutest fucking thing in the existence of this planet—a ‘frog hotel’. No pictures of the tiny frog vacation home were available but I’m sure it involved a cute little spa with worms and flies to eat on request.

“He was then given to a veterinary nurse at the place I was studying, and she took him home to her ‘frog hotel’ as she has an ideal environment for frogs at her home.

“The last I heard, he was safe and doing well.”

Now, I don’t mean to alarm you, but this isn’t the first time a little critter has found its way into someone’s pre-packaged supermarket salad. Back in 2017, a woman discovered another froggy friend, and another found a giant fuck-off spider in their salad (literally, fuck you and your eight fucking legs, mate). As to how the frog got in the bag, well we’ll have to wait for his interview with A Current Affair later tonight.

‘Straya, where the animals are deadly but the lettuce can kill you too. I would like to wish all snakes and spiders a very big get out of my salad.