For years, philosophers have gathered ’round the hearth to discuss one universal question that nobody has quite found the answer to yet, and that is: “what would you do if you found a fkn snake in your bag of lettuce?” Today my friends, we explore that question.

Lesley Kuhn, a woman from Mosman, Sydney was confronted with that very question when her son found a baby Pale-headed Snake in a bag of Aldi cos lettuce.

Personally, I would have had a panic attack in the middle of the store, but alas, this isn’t about me. This is about others who have had the misfortune of encountering slippery assailants in their lettuce bags.

Kuhn shared her experience online via the Mosman Living Facebook group, alongside some shocking pics of the little snek baby hiding in the lettuce bag.

lettuce snake
hello kind sir, may I please have one (1) lettuce? (Image from Facebook)

“Last night my son found this baby white-headed snake in with the packaged baby cos lettuce he purchased from Aldi. Make sure you check packed lettuce carefully!” she wrote on Facebook.

Kuhn also described the snake as being “very much alive,” which stirs up one million questions in my head.

According to Kuhn, her son immediately called Wildlife Information, Rescue and Education Service (WIRES) to come and deal with the unwanted snake boi. WIRES came and safely collected the snake, and no venomous hiss babies were harmed.

snake lettuce aldi
snakes alive, now with no artificial colours (Image from Facebook)

Now I know what you’re wondering. We’ve got a baby snake inside of a bag, how dangerous could it have possibly been? Well, turns out this specific type of legless lizard is considered to be a “potentially dangerous species,” according to the Queensland Museum.

This particular hiss puppy is considered to be haemotoxic, which means that one bite can destroy red blood cells, and even lead to organ failure, which is a big no-no. Sure you might want some cronch in your salad, but this isn’t the kind you’d like.

Aldi is yet to make an official comment on the matter, but it’s safe to suggest that after this, the Mosman woman and her son deserve a lifetime supply of Snakes Alive. (Or something, IDK I’m just spitballing ideas here.)

If you need me I definitely won’t be in Mosman, that’s for sure.