Barnaby Joyce Will Meet With Jean Claude Van Damme Because Auspol Is Cooked

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Published

November 30, 2016

Sure, why not. Why bloody not. It’s not like this is outrageously out of the ordinary in the grand scheme of everything that’s gone down in Canberra over the last 3 years or so.

The weird and wonderful world of #auspol continues to be so all-consumingly bonkers that they should, by all rights, charge admission so tourists can gawk at its splendour.

And just when you thought we might be able to get away with having the final Federal Parliament sitting day for the year pass without incident, a literal walking Street Fighter rocks up.

Four-initialled wonder Jean Claude Van Damme is headed to Canberra tomorrow where he will meet with Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce to discuss, among other things, animal conservation.

Yes, we’re serious. No, this isn’t a joke.

HUGE NEWS! Jean Claude Van Damme is coming to Parliament tomorrow to meet with Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce. (not joking)#auspol pic.twitter.com/TN1tWUqE0Z

— Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) November 30, 2016

Among many other reasons, namely the “Evening with Jean Claude Van Damme” live Q&A tour, JCVD is in town to meet with state and federal politicians regarding the potential establishment of a wildlife sanctuary for endangered animals somewhere in Australia.

Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d read; Jean Claude Van Damme is coming to Australia to save the animals pic.twitter.com/rdGA05SyZg

— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) November 29, 2016

Van Damme isn’t a stranger to animal activism in Australia, it should be said. A few months ago he was back in the country attending an event that benefited Animals Australia, smooching up to some rescue greyhounds including this fella whose name is Blue.

Is there any wonder Jean-Claude Van Damme got a lick of approval from @bluethegrey? ?? If you have room in your heart (and on your couch!) for a dog like Blue, head to AnimalsAustralia.org/AdoptAGrey for tips on fostering or adopting a greyhound and a list of organisations facilitating this around Australia ??? #GreyhoundRacing #JCVD #AdoptAGreyhound #KindnessisAwesome #UnitedforAnimals #AdoptDontShop #RescuedRacer #RetiredRacer #couchpotato

A photo posted by Animals Australia (@animalsaustralia) on Aug 31, 2016 at 6:53pm PDT

That’s not all, though. While in the country Van Damme will also be hosting screenings of his ultra-violent 1988 classic ‘Bloodsport,’ which will apparently aid the push to end domestic violence and violence against women.

a sentence I never thought I’d read, part 2 – watch an insanely violent film to stop violence against women pic.twitter.com/jhuAYO5bi8

— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) November 29, 2016

You know the one. It’s a cinematic marvel.

But the bottom line here is that noted action movie star/ripped muscle bash dude Jean Claude Van Damme is going to Canberra to discuss the subject of animal activism and conservation with Barnaby Joyce who is the man who once threatened to murder two tiny dogs belonging to Johnny Depp.

It’s the last day of Parliament for the year, folks. Ya gotta make it count.

Source: Twitter.