The Most Aptly Horrified Reactions To Barnaby Joyce’s Deputy PM Bid

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Published

January 7, 2016

Barnaby Joyce, current Federal Minister for Agriculture and Water Resources and the man who once threatened to kill Johnny Depp‘s dogs, has declared his intentions to run for National Party leader – and, by extension, the position of Deputy Prime Minister of Australia – in the likely event that the position becomes available soon.

We repeat: Barnaby Joyce has intentions to run the country.

A profile with Fairfax Media, published this morning, revealed that Joyce has been slowly maneuvering himself through the ranks of the National Party over the course of his career, and is now within striking distance of the top job.

With incumbent party leader Warren Truss currently evaluating his own future, that horrifying prospect is suddenly frighteningly close to reality.

Joyce, for his part, appears to be in full-on campaigning mode, extolling his own virtues virtually unprompted like a player piano resumé.

“The closer you get to the job – and I am close, being the deputy – the more aware you become of the work involved. It’s a job I can do but I’m not in a rush.”

“I’ve had shadow portfolios, been leader in the Senate, deputy leader of the party, been a successful minister. That’s what counts. That’s how people judge you when you’re running for bigger things.”

Meanwhile, in the hours since the news broke, Australia has apparently spent that time letting the implications of this sink in.

If Barnaby Joyce becomes Deputy PM & Malcolm Turnbull travels overseas…….
sorry I can’t finish this tweet

— Josh Bornstein (@JoshBBornstein) January 7, 2016

“Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce” is going to become a thing. Let that sink in a bit.

— Cameron Atfield (@CameronAtfield) January 7, 2016

So, want a chill up your spine?
The words: ‘Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce’.
God help us all. #HeartbeatAway #auspol

— ross clelland (@rnclelland) January 7, 2016

Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce. Dwell on those horrific five words for a moment.

— Oz (@redrabbleroz) January 7, 2016

When you find out Barnaby Joyce will be Australia’s new deputy leader pic.twitter.com/eBXh7u2oyc

— BuzzFeedOz Politics (@BuzzFeedOzPol) January 7, 2016

Barnaby Joyce Deputy PM, Donald Trump front runner for US Pres, Dutton still employed – have we fallen down a rabbit hole? #auspol

— The Former Sir Mark (@mkentwell) January 6, 2016

Barnaby. Joyce.
Deputy. Prime. Minister.
#argggggggh
#noooooooo

— Ros Joyce (@TheBeerWidow) January 6, 2016

Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

Ponder that for a moment.

#auspol

— Kevin Ball (@kevinball63) January 6, 2016

“Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce. If those words fill you with horror you aren’t alone.” #IAmAfraid #HoPaura #TengoMiedo #JaiPeur

— David Bongiorno (@DavidBongiorno) January 6, 2016

‘Course that sense of dread isn’t just confined to the general public. Tony Windsor – former Independent MP and the man considering running against Joyce for his seat of New England – pulled very few punches in his assessment of Joyce’s credentials for the gig.

“It would be a bloody disaster for the nation.”

“The bloke’s a fool. Some of the things that come out of his mouth are embarrassing. There’s no policy depth to him. I think he’s a goose.”

Then again, it’s not like we’ve got a sparkling record for heeding the warning bells from former politicians as of late. We do live in a country where a former Prime Minister said “if Tony Abbott becomes Prime Minister, you’ve gotta say… God help us” and we still willingly walked headlong into that one.