Criminal Fox Caught Attempting To Fare Evade On Humble Melbourne Tram

Though we all know the common fox is a law-shirking prick at the best of times, the sheer audacity of their latest illegal activity truly beggars belief.

A fox, the most villainous of all creatures, was captured openly and wantonly fare evading on a Melbourne tram on Friday night, not only without a Myki in its possession but even bereft of a pocket to keep one in.

A tram driver operating the route 57 service to West Maribyrnong captured the devious bastard after it hopped onto the tram after it had completed its service at the end of the line.

The fox is said to have leapt off the tram after the driver got back on board, confirming its criminal intent to conceal itself on the tram and ride without paying. Pure scum behaviour if you ask me. Despicable stuff, folks.

A Yarra Trams spokesperson confirmed the driver wasn’t “particularly alarmed” about the situation, speculating that the animal’s criminal den must lie in parkland surrounding the tram terminus. However this is the first time they had heard of such a brazen and clearly pre-meditated attempt to flaunt the laws of man in our faces, safe in the knowledge that human police aren’t issued pawcuffs as standard.

A thieving bastard of a fox; a loathsome creature who utterly refuses to touch on, and laughs at any request to do so; an animal with absolute zero respect for law and order.

The fox must be jailed, and it must be jailed immediately.