Before we begin, I must preface this article with a disclaimer: J’ADORE ONE DIRECTION. I’ve had the same picture of Harry, from his shoot with Another Man, as my screensaver since its release in 2016.
In fact, 1D has given us youngsters, Millennials and twenty-somethings some undeniable bops for the ages. They’ve also provided us sensitive souls with plenty of fodder to navigate through relationships, heartbreaks and sexual feelings (*insert eggplant emoji*) and, for that, they should be applauded.
With that being said, some of these certified bops also contain croons that undeniably fall into the realms of either softboi and fuccboi territory. Some lyrics, for instance, are reminiscent of messages boys have sent when trying to let you down gently, or of phrases a guy might try to whisper in your ear at a party while you’re just trying to balance as much guac onto a Dorito as possible.
So, which 1D songs are softboi and fuccboi certified?
Let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery together, ladies, gents and non-binary friends.
10. WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
The type that says, “Girl, I understand you have insecurities, but those insecurities are your strengths! Embrace them. I love you. :)”
VERDICT: The playful, flirty softboi.
9. LIVE WHILE WE’RE YOUNG
In one of the most courageous displays of fuccboi-ism, this type of boy will encourage you to “live in the moment”, “be present” and have “no regrets”. Life’s a party… until the next morning.
VERDICT: The youthful, vivacious fuccboi.
8. LITTLE THINGS
We’ve all encountered this boy. He tells you that he love your lips, your cute, button nose or your puppy-dog eyes. “You have the most beautiful smile”, he proclaims, only to turn around 8 weeks later to confess that he didn’t think things were that serious.
VERDICT: A softboi who has great attention to detail.
7. KISS YOU
This is a fun one because, even though he exhibits extreme fuccboi behaviour, he’s extremely open about his fuccboi ways and therefore upfront and honest with you about his expectations.
VERDICT: Fuccboi, but in a pure, honest way! APPLAUSE!
6. YOU & I
Nothing can come between you and I… apart from my 7 other boyfriends and girlfriends.
VERDICT: The sensitive, unavailable softboi.
5. BEST SONG EVER
Let’s take things literally. This song alludes to a one-night encounter and some kisses. Niall also asks her, “Can I take you home with me?” and subsequently gets pied in the face.
VERDICT: Your stock-standard fuccboi.
4. STORY OF MY LIFE
I love how the majority of softiboi-leaning songs picture Harry’s head as the thumbnail.
VERDICT: A regretful softboi.
3. NIGHT CHANGES
(I’ve just realised how many of these songs fall into softboi territory… It kind of makes sense, though, considering the whole ‘boy-band-appealing-to-people’s-emotions’ thing. Anyway, I digress…)
VERDICT: A softboi with big dreams but empty promises.
THE FUCCBOI AWARD GOES TO…
This is honestly gold, because they’re literally telling us, “HUN, RUN FOR THE HIGH HILLS! I’M DOWN FOR A GOOD TIME BUT I’M LITERALLY SO EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.” Once again, at least there’s honesty involved and no facade.
VERDICT: KING FUCCBOI but in an honest way, which is low-key refreshing, I guess.
AND THE SOFTBOI AWARD GOES TO…
Just read the lyrics. Need I say more?
VERDICT: KING SOFTBOI. RUN.Image: Getty Images / Chiaki Nozu