Marilyn Manson, who I think we can all agree had ribs removed in order to suck his own dick, might be 49-years-old and more closely resembling a wax figure of himself nowadays, but his entrepreneurial spirit has not waned. Not one iota.
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With Halloween fast approaching, Manson took the time to not only update his official merch store with holiday-appropriate wares, but he alerted his fanbase to it by posting to Instagram.
Yes, that’s right. Along with a Halloween Pumpkin stencil, Marilyn Manson is now selling an official custom dildo with his face firmly ensconced on the head.
It’s no joke either, the fake dong is real.
Observe the yaw on that bad boy. The gentle fade to the left. The embossed lettering of his own dang name in place of replica skin textures. A simply magnificent rubber cock.
According to the product listing, which we stress again is quite real, the Manson Schlong is environmentally safe, hypoallergenic, stands at 8 inches tall with a 1.5-inch diameter, is affixed to a suction cup base, and comes with its own velvet bag for easy storage. Unfortunately, however, it may fade with repeated usage. So there’s something to think about.
For those of you keen to get your hands and bits on your very own non-mechanical animal, the Manson-faced portable dick retails for a cool US$125.
If you order now, it might be here in time to haunt your private parts for Halloween.
Your own personal fuck toy.
Someone to hear your prayers.
Someone who cares.
