If you’re very over eating a tiny piece of choccie a day in the lead-up to Christmas and need a more risque option, Lovehoney‘s Best Sex of Your Life Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar could just be the raunchy af option for you.

You know how some couples spice it up in bed by like trying out Kama Sutra moves or like role-playing? Why not let a big purple box tell you what fun new activity you’ll be doing every day instead? With kinky little surprises for boys and girls, the Lovehoney Advent Calendar offers up a lot of saucy surprises, complete with instructions. Because good sex is good for your health.

Sure, you may be forever single, in which case I say, me too, girl, me too. I don’t want to spoil exactly what’s inside every day, but there’s definitely some stuff in there that does not require a second pair of hands. If anything the second pair of hands would probably get in the way of all the mazzing you wanna be doing, with the bullet vibrator that you’ll lift the flap to reveal on day one. Sure there’s stuff there that’s geared for D, but you could save it for a special someone later, or gift it? You do you.

And it’s not like those sexy treats wont come in handy around the holiday season – sure porn viewing dropped on average 18% worldwide on Christmas Day, and 29% on Christmas Eve, and a whoppin’ 37% on New Years’ Eve between 6pm and midnight last year, according to Pornhub, that still leaves quite a few of you having a wank on the most important dates on the festive calendar. Not to mention on the other days where you’re taking enforced annual leave.

The stats for not wanking, so says a Lovehoney study, is than more than 50% of couples have sex during the festive period, which is apparently more than any other time of year, and that frankly, shocks me, but okay. Christmas Eve and NYE are apparently the top days, with a third of couples doing the dirty deed.

Here’s how Bonny Hall, Lovehoney product director, justifies the kit:

Our research shows that Christmas is the friskiest time of the year for couples. We have carefully picked the very best products available from Lovehoney for people to enjoy in the build up to the big day.

Anyway the naughty Lovehoney Advent Calendar is worth $450 but sells for $200, but, but, but, it’s 20% for Black Friday rn, so… you know what to do.

Image: The Grinch