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Friends, let me put a little more Merry in your Christmas by introducing you to the advent calendar of my your dreams — and I’m not talking about chocolate, beauty products or wine — although those are delicious too. I’m talking about the advent calendars filled with sex toys from Yoni Pleasure Palace (you know, the legends behind those fluffy squirt blankets?!).

Yep, these particular advent calendars are a little more naughty than nice. Think vibrators, anal beads, butt plugs, crotchless panties, tassels, clamps, ticklers, wrist cuffs, masks, whips and a whole heap of other goodies designed to hit all the right spots.

We get a feeling this advent calendar is going to redefine the term morning glory.

Yoni Pleasure Palace Sex Toy Advent Calendar

Yoni Pleasure Palace Advent Calendar, $215

Anyway, for 24 fun-filled days of pleasure, you get to open, explore and play with all the sexy things inside. These sex little gift boxes are the perfect treat-yourself moment and also make a bloody good gift for your lover.

Let’s take a look inside this thing, shall we? Included in your calendar are the following:

  • Bullet Vibrator
  • G-spot Finger Sleeve
  • Tongue Sensations Vibrator
  • Feather Tickler
  • Sex Toy Cleaner
  • Wrist Cuffs
  • Ankle Cuffs
  • Collar With Lead
  • Whip
  • Nipple Clamps
  • Bath Bomb with Surprise
  • Lipstick Vibrator
  • Luxe Vibrator
  • Sex Position Dice
  • Glass Anal Beads
  • Nipple Tassels x 2
  • Butt Plug
  • G-Spot Tickler
  • Finger Flirter
  • Eye Mask
  • Spanking Paddle
  • Lace Face Mask & Matching Wrist Cuffs
  • Silicone Pleaser
  • Crotchless Black Panties

Hoo, boy! I dunno about you, but imma need a bigger box under my bed…

Ho, Ho, Hoo Boy: Get On Santa’s Naughty List With This Sex-Toy Filled Advent Calendar

The Yoni Pleasure Palace Sex Toy Advent Calendar will set you back around $215, which is pretty good bang for your buck if you’re getting all of that. The cal is currently on pre-order, with shipping expected to begin on November 17. Giving you plenty of time to get your goodies in the mail and stuff your stocking.

You can shop the YPP Sex Toy Advent Calendar here.

Image: Mean Girls