A Fruit Company Has Engineered A ‘Diet Avocado’ Because Happiness Sucks

Avocado is love, avocado is life.

No exaggeration, avocados are the closest thing we have to God. Their buttery, grassy profile is surely proof someone living in the clouds cares about us. The fact that they taste that good and are actually good for you, too? BRB, I need a moment for silent prayer.

Anyway, some twisted fruit growing company called Eurobanan has created a brand new strain of avocado that supposedly has 30% less fat than the original.

The Isla BonitaAvocado Light‘ reportedly has all the same nutritional benefits as OG variety, but a fair whack less monounsaturated fat.

According to Fruitnet, the claims have been verified by independent laboratories, and the avocado has been approved by the Spanish Health Foundation’s Food Health Program.

The low-fat avocado reportedly has “a smooth, shiny green skin and a delicate light flavour” and “is fast-ripening with a slow rate of oxidation,” which basically means it’ll take longer to go that nasty, heartbreaking grey colour. And because it’s a human engineered product, the Avocado Light grows year round.

Eurobanan is advertising the Avocado Light as “ideal for the preparation of smoothies, cold soup, gazpachos, cocktails,” and many other dishes “throughout the day.”

But riddle me this: what exactly is the point of this frankenfruit exercise?

Why are we trying to fix something that isn’t broke?

Why are we putting our precious, perfect green goodies on a god forsaken diet?!

“Consumption is growing constantly, as are consumer concerns about getting a balanced diet. Now, thanks to the Avocado Light, you can enjoy this fruit at all times in a much lighter way,” Eurobanan’s marketing director Ramón Rey said in a statement. Because of course he did.

The whole reason avocados are so good and yummy is their fat. It’s good fat. It’s fat we need for energy.


Thankfully, the skint little avocados will only be available in Spain for the foreseeable future.

In the meantime, go forth and smash my dudes.