Date: Today
Time: Now
Crime under investigation: Lady Gaga not bathing
Further information: Mother Monster took to Twitter today to discuss the sacrifices required to create her upcoming 6th album. In doing so, Ms Germanotta joked about an encounter with her assistant, in which the aforementioned assistant inquired about her last blessed bathing session. Ms Germanotta disclosed that she didn’t remember.
Exhibit A:
#LG6
my assistant: when’s the last time you bathed
me: i don’t remember— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 19, 2019
Although Ms Germanotta claims that she is unable to remember her bathing schedule, there is online evidence to suggest that she engaged in a bubble bath in A Star is Born.
Then there was the ‘Bath Haus of Gaga’ in her music video for “Bad Romance”.
Her Instagram flick, dated October 24, is the most recent post involving a bath.
View this post on Instagram
Ms Germanotta even enjoyed a frollic in a pool, a week prior to the above Instagram, on October 18.
Despite these four (4) examples of water submersion spanning back to Bad Romance’s genesis in 2009, subsequently proving that Gaga has bathed at least four (4) times in the past decade (not bad), dedicated stans were simply not having it, interrogating the performer about LG6’s whereabouts.
Please enjoy these savage tweets:
GIRL
— ✰ (@wbkgaga) December 19, 2019
— Veronica (@Veronicdarkness) December 19, 2019
OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLS pic.twitter.com/2oK5wKphnS
— ricardo (@twittzendo) December 19, 2019
Do you want to get impeached too
— Gaga Daily (@gagadaily) December 19, 2019
the assistant- pic.twitter.com/Aqkql6KTOv
— instagram: pedro.rafhael (@falarafha) December 19, 2019
WHAT THE FVCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN JUST RELEASE THE DAMN ALBUM pic.twitter.com/2PcTFIhFxM
— harold (@haroldisafvg) December 19, 2019
DROP LEAD SINGLE FROM LG6 NOW pic.twitter.com/b7AzK5kV4R
— ricardo (@twittzendo) December 19, 2019
Queen of not bathing ???????????? lg6 physical album going to be scratch and sniff with body odor ❤️
— nico ???? (@fkanico) December 19, 2019
I appreciate your patience at this time, as future documents are gathered and evidence collected regarding Ms Germanotta’s bathing routine and sanitary standards.
Yours sincerely,
Concerned™
