The following is my entire understanding of cooking with weed, based on my own experience:
- Grab some amount of weed (never the same amount twice, because you don’t own scales and it doesn’t matter because you have no idea how much you used last time).
- Put the weed in the oven for a bit.
- Grab either unsalted or salted butter (it’s definitely one of the two but I can never remember which).
- Gently simmer the weed in the butter for a bit.
- Use the butter with one of those shitty but delicious boxed brownie mixes from the supermarket.
- Eat too many of the brownies because you’re an idiot, spend six hours trying to figure out if that sound you keep hearing is the fridge or a ghost.
I have begun to understand that other people have taken this experience to slightly more exciting and refined places. So much so, it seems, that Netflix will be exploring that concept with a new series.
Cooking On High (if my calculations are correct, a pun on three entire levels) is set to drop on June 22nd and will feature chefs competing against each other to make weed-infused food for a panel of celebrity judges.
According to venerable weed authority High Times, the show will be hosted by YouTube personality Josh Leyva, with comedian and cannabis activist Ngaio Bealum acting as the show’s primary “culinary weed expert.” High Times also says the show will feature ten celebrity chefs.
Not much else is known about the show at the moment but I’m personally hoping for all of the ridiculous culinary splendour of Chef’s Table perfectly combined with the unbelievably stress-free relaxation of the Great British Bake Off.
(Please note: that is not a real recipe at the start of this article. I mean, the steps are real, but you need like proper measurements and temperatures and times to cook. That’s how recipes work. Don’t try and guess, look a proper one up.)