It is a truth universally acknowledged that the worst thing you can do if you’ve broken up with someone is post about them on social media. It’s so easy too! You can just scream into a pillow or write rude limericks on a Post-It note instead.
But no one told Calvin Harris that. Though his Twitter has been a powerful fountain of ennui since Taylor Swift dumped him, it has been especially intense over the past 12 hours.
Firstly, Swift’s camp confirmed that she wrote part of Harris and Rihanna‘s tune ‘This Is What You Came For’, which Harris was more than happy to confirm, magnanimously:
(Note: I’m screenshotting these rather than embedding them because I assume they will be later deleted in the midst of a crippling shame spiral)
He further clarified:
Cool. But then it becomes clear that he’s probably had at least three beers. This reads like a three beer tweet.
You know, you’re not drunk, but you’re heading down that path, and you’re absolutely ready to unleash some hot truth that you’ve been bottling up. We’ve all been there buddy. But some of us choose to repress it and tweet about TV shows instead.
Okay, man…
But then it’s the big one
Yeah baby. That’s the content we crave. Gimme.
Obviously he’s talking about Katy Perry here, and he’s just feeding the assumption that Taylor is essentially a ruthless Hollywood mob boss who can have someone buried and/or killed at moment’s notice. I believe it.
He concluded by telling everyone to have a nice day, which he clearly isn’t.
Katy Perry replied (we assume) with this Hillary Clinton gif, which I guess constitutes some kind of knowing restraint.
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) July 13, 2016
There ya go, folks. Never post.
Source: Twitter.
Photo: Getty Images.
