
Earlier today, we reported that Australian shoppers were clearing supermarket shelves of toilet paper and other essentials amidst growing fears of coronavirus (Covid-19). A few hours on, and many are still metaphorically shitting themselves.
I’m pleased to report that #ToiletPaper is now trending nationwide on Twitter, with punters continuing to share their many, many images of vacant toilet paper shelves.
Leichhardt peeps, you need to calm down. Not a single toilet roll left 😂 pic.twitter.com/VP3GS6OcW6
— Sarah McPhee (@_SarahMcPhee) March 3, 2020
The world’s gone mad! 3 supermarkets – no toilet roll! Last I heard #coronavirus causes a flu-like illness not wild, explosive diarrhoea! 😳Scored possibly the last pack in the whole of Brisbane! Might put it on eBay! 😂 #panicbuying #coronavirusaustralia #toiletpaper pic.twitter.com/rDUQ4Avv1B
— Anne Stubbs (@annestubbs) March 3, 2020
Following the news that toilet paper was scarce in supermarkets around Australia, there now comes hope – some have taken to Facebook Marketplace and Gumtree to sell rolls at super, dooper reasonable prices.
This is fkn hilarious! (Facebook Marketplace) #coronavirus #toiletpaper pic.twitter.com/Jpr8gJ8XM9
— Sam 🇦🇺🇺🇦 (@samstrades) March 3, 2020
seems a little pricey but I guess 3 ply is worth it!
— Dodgy Dave (@dodgy_69) March 3, 2020


At this point, I deem it necessary to note that 1 Aussie has passed away from the coronavirus – although one fatality is unfortunate, something tells me it’s not enough to spark panic buying across the country and result in a nationwide shortage of toot paper. ‘Tis now time to free yourself from the poo-ridden shackles of your fears, take a plunge(r) and try to not clear each supermarket of every toilet roll, in my humble opinion.
“There’s no reason to go out and panic buy, you know, the almost bunker level materials at this present time,” Dr Tony Bartone, president of the Australian Medical Association, told ABC Melbourne yesterday. Guess no one listened.