Ranking Timothée Chalamet’s Wonka Fits By Whether I’d Oompa Loompa Doompety Doo Him

Timothée Chalamet is currently doing the rounds for the upcoming Wonka film (yes, another one) and I am happy to announce that he is taking the assignment very seriously.

It’s a good thing Margot Robbie set a strong example with the Barbie circuit earlier this year, because our boy Timothée is whipping out purple hues, velvet textures and other various things that might be making some willies feel a bit wonky.

Anyway, keep scrolling for all of Timmy’s Wonka looks so far, ranked by my desire to let him into my own factory (probably not my chocolate one though, I’m a bit vanilla like that).

4. “Let’s just be friends”

Image Source: Jun Sato/WireImage.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m happy to just be friends with this Wonka while he eats chocolates and various other things with Kylie Jenner. I’ve never seen The Matrix but I know enough to know that this look is too black-and-leathery to be on a promo circuit for any film other than that one.

Do not pass go, do not come near my front or rear factory (unless you let me take your coat).

3. “Can we just cuddle instead, Wonka?”

Image Source: Getty Images / Gareth Cattermole

Not gonna lie, Timothée sure is radiating a grease-free Justin Bobby vibe here in his combat boots (which turns me off) but the pinstriped Alexander McQueen suit with a mini tailcoat, just like the OG Willy Wonka, doesn’t not turn me on.

Anyway I don’t trust anyone who wears combat boots, at the beach or otherwise, so I’m making this Wonka work for it.

2. “I’ll just say bye to my mates and meet you out front”

timothee chalamet wonka
Image: @julianunganostudio

While the Tom Ford velvet suit and and chocolate boots sure do make sense as a lil’ nod to Wonka, I feel like Timothée could’ve metaphorically broken his neck by paying homage with a hat or neck scarf thing for the world premiere in London.

The down-the-barrel stare does make me wonder if a 27-year-old is too young for me, a 30-something, though — so for that I’ll allow him to enter my factory after a solid five minutes pretending that I’m thinking about it.

1. “Immediate entry, Wonka”

timothee chalamet wonka outfits
Image: @tchalamet

This pastel-leather Prada twinset Timothée wore to the Wonka premiere in Tokyo has to take the (presumably chocolate) cake.

Why? I truly cannot think of anyone else who could wear this and still make me salivate. I can’t even picture the esteemed Harry Styles in this, bald and all, and that’s saying something.

The white boots are definitely wigging me out and I really hope Timothée is wearing things underneath this fit. It makes me unwell to think about how this material might feel on his skin. Nice Cartier jewels, though!

Allowed into my factory? Immediately.

Wonka will be in Australian cinemas on December 14, so we’ve still got some time for Timmy to give us a real sugar-high.

Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. You can follow her on Instagram.