Oh my fucking God I do not even know where to start with what we just witnessed on The Bachelors because it was so monumentally fucked. The internet is shaking and I started crying at one point during the episode because it was so horrid to watch.
I have literally re-written this story four different times because *so* much kept happening and I didn’t know which lane to stay in. Alas, we will break down the big moments in chronological order.
The episode literally opened with some sort of fight involving Tash, Jess, Krystal and Jas at a rose ceremony, and then we suddenly backtracked 24 hours earlier.
Twitter immediately realised the producers of The Bachelors are not here to fuck spiders. They’re taking the bull by the bloody horns.
Me: Wait did I miss something?
Bachelor: 24 hours earlier..
Me: Oh.. #TheBachelorsAU— Abi (Taylor’s version) (@abilovestv) January 11, 2023
So we’re playing with flashback and flash-forward in this episode?
It’s a fun choice, but if you’re going to do it, maybe *don’t* do a whole episode promo immediately beforehand that spoils the whole spot? #TheBachelorsAU
— Jodi McAlister (@JodiMcA) January 11, 2023
The pacing of this episode is hectic (derogatory) #TheBachelorsAU
— Hannah (@Hannah_LMN) January 11, 2023
Basically, literal bully Tash learns that wholesome, sweet Jess (who was given a rose by Felix) has a boyfriend and is in a consensual open relationship. She thinks that Anko Machine Gun Kelly needs to know this because he’s allegedly the root rat’s “best friend”.
Unfortunately, the internet realises at this point that none of them have ever heard of polyamory and the way it’ll be discussed will be fucking abysmal.
Oh I’m sure this is going to be a super nuanced discussion of polyamory and open relationships /sarcasm #TheBachelorsAU
— Sass 🍑 (@supergirl_sass) January 11, 2023
Have these people not considered that maybe she’s not cheating? Did they not consider the idea of an open relationship lol. #TheBachelorsAU #TheBachelor
— shhh. (@fourleafc_lover) January 11, 2023
Anko MGK tells Felix about Jess because #mates and then Tash re-enters the chat because #apparentlythisinvolvesher.
She pulls the “I’D WANT TO KNOW!!!” and “JESS ACTUALLY WANTS TO TELL YOU!!!” cards which pisses Twitter off to no end.
I despise the “I would wanna know” bullshit. Nah you want to stir the pot. If she has shared openly, maybe give her the chance to share with Felix? #TheBachelorsAU
— Reality Ramble Podcast (@RealityRamble) January 11, 2023
Tash; “she wants to tell you herself” whilst telling Felix #TheBachelorsAU
— justhere4 (@indie_vidualist) January 11, 2023
“She wanted to have that chat and I dont want to take that from her” even tho thats exactly what im doing #TheBachelorsAU
— Caitlyn (@CaitlynVernem) January 11, 2023
Tash straight up saying “she wants to tell you and have that conversation with you and I don’t wanna take that away from her” whilst actively taking that conversation opportunity away from her. She isn’t my favourite. #TheBachelorsAU
— Em Jordan 🧣 (@EmJordann) January 11, 2023
Felix has the fucking audacity to declare he doesn’t want an open relationship when he is quite literally dating 10 girls at the same time on national television.
It was only yesterday that he was macking Tilly and Naomi in front of the other women he’d given roses to and saying how nice it was to date heaps of “hot girls” concurrently.
Obviously, the internet was fuming at the hypocrisy of one man being allowed to date 10 girls at once, while all hell breaks loose when a woman is in an open relationship.
There’s 10 women for one man but one having a BF?AAAAARGH….#TheBachelorsAU
— robair.5×💉 (@robair20) January 11, 2023
So, three men can date thirty women. But one woman can’t date two men? Typical. #TheBachelorsAU
— whats the T (@noshadeallT) January 11, 2023
https://twitter.com/JackParwata/status/1613093319051210752
“I’m not getting into an open relationship” said Bachelor Felix while also currently dating multiple women. #TheBachelorsAU
— Simone Holtznagel (@moan_holtz) January 11, 2023
So Felix can date 10 women, but Jess can’t date two men? #TheBachelorsAU
— S T A C E Y (@mahonny24) January 11, 2023
Felix then says he never considered that Tash would have a boyfriend and be in an open relationship because she’s so “sweet and innocent”, which also made Twitter gag. Screaming, crying and throwing up in the worst way possible.
That sweet and innocent comment from Felix is cringe. But then, he has been cringe the whole time. #TheBachelorsAU
— Abi (Taylor’s version) (@abilovestv) January 11, 2023
She was sweet and innocent until I found out she may have had sex with someone else – Felix.#TheBachelorsAU
— Beck (not the musician, the other one) (@Beckecek) January 11, 2023
Love Felix making up a whole innocent Madonna personality up for Jess who he has spoken three words to #TheBachelorsAU
— dr mimi petrakis 🦇 (@MimiPetrakis) January 11, 2023
Noted queen of The Bachelors Krystal goes to confront Tash for sharing deeply personal information about another woman when it didn’t concern her at all, which the internet applauded. As they should.
Krystal is single handedly keeping this show afloat @TheBachelorAU #TheBachelorsAU
— Jenna Carr (@JL_Carr86) January 11, 2023
Loving Krystal here right now. Props. 👏👏👏 #TheBachelorsAU
— MRB – @mrenb7@aus.social (@mrenb7) January 11, 2023
I’m loving Krystal’s screen time 😍😍😍 #TheBachelorsAU
— nads 💕 (@thelifeofnadss) January 11, 2023
Lots of other things happened at Dreamworld or some shit so, to do a The Bachelors special, let’s fast forward to the end of the episode when the chaotic rose ceremony takes place.
ICYMI, The Bachelors‘ rose ceremonies these days are more of a Survivor-esque tribal council situation, whereby Osher lets the women go ham and just air all of their grievances about each other.
Obviously, Tash gets all catty and mean and this time, it’s absolute icon Jas who sticks up for Jess. She was also serving some truly iconic facial expressions which were on par with Erin’s in Derry Girls.
Twitter loved it, queen shit, et cetera.
Jasmine is the hero to our villain Tash. The Batman to our Two Face. The Superman to our Lex Luther. The Bert to our Ernie. #thebachelorsau
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) January 11, 2023
The facial expressions while Tash speaks are hilarious #TheBachelorsAU
— Lara🙃 (@LLP184) January 11, 2023
Jasmine’s face is giving me liiiiiife #TheBachelorsAU
— whats the T (@noshadeallT) January 11, 2023
Jasmine’s about to lose her shit #TheBachelorsAU
— Tarryn (Taylor’s Version) (@tazzie961) January 11, 2023
GO OFF, JASMINE #TheBachelorsAU
— taryn | inej ghafa worshipper (@thereafter) January 11, 2023
Then when we all thought that Tash was done being a bully, while Jas is talking to Jed about how she’s actually evil, Tash randomly drops to a room full of women that Jas has an OnlyFans.
The internet agreed it was fucking vile and questioned why, after what Olivia did to Dom on Married At First Sight last year, women still think it’s OK to shame other women for sex work? Why is the same misogynistic storyline being regurgitated on The Bachelors?
Also, I know this story isn’t about me in the slightest, but it was at this point in the episode that I started crying because it was genuinely so distressing to watch Jas’ privacy be violated at the enjoyment of another woman.
Oh not a only fans scandal we already had one with MAFS that was painful enough #TheBachelorsAU
— Cara (@CLGreality9) January 11, 2023
i cannot deal with another only fans shaming storyline #theBachelorsAU
— Caitlyn (@CaitlynVernem) January 11, 2023
After what we saw on MAFS, are we really still shaming women for having only fans accts? 🥴 #TheBachelorsAU
— justhere4 (@indie_vidualist) January 11, 2023
HAVING AN ONLY FANS IS NOT A CRIME! Ffs. Onto the dumpster with you Tash. #TheBachelorsAU
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) January 11, 2023
OnlyFans Drama 2: Electric Boogaloo #TheBachelorsAU
— Jessie Lynch (@jesskalynch) January 11, 2023
After what happened on MAFS are people on reality tv still seriously thinking it’s OK to shame women for sex work ffs #TheBachelorsAU
— Tegan Victoria (@teganvictoria) January 11, 2023
I am once again, disappointed that a woman’s onlyfans is being used against her in a negative connotation #TheBachelorsAU
— kiki 🍒 (@violettfemmes) January 11, 2023
bringing another girl down for OF is a sexist narrative i am so sick of it it’s ridiculous #TheBachelorsAU
— ella 🏠💐 (@erodaella) January 11, 2023
IDK about you but I feel nauseous and disgusted by what I just watched so I’m going to go and lie down.
If you’d like a detailed recap of the horror we just witnessed on The Bachelors, you can squiz our recap here.
