Sharknado 4 Is Happening And There’s Nothing You Can Do To Stop It

Number 3 has barely hit screens worldwide, and yet so confident is SyFy that your annoyed curiosity will bring you back time and time again that they’ve already gone ahead and greenlit a fourth instalment in the one-note joke series of Sharknado films.

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! premiered in America overnight, and is scheduled to hit screens locally on Foxtel in a mere matter of hours. If you’re *super* precious about spoilers for it we suggest you don’t read on – but honestly, a bunch of tornadoes full of sharks hit a bunch of American cities and how could you be pissed off about finding that out?
The series, which is now becoming something of an annual American summer tradition for the network, announced that number four is all but inevitable at the conclusion of number three, which features a pretty unique cliffhanger.
As a falling piece of space shuttle hurtles towards Tara Reid‘s character April, the “film” abruptly cuts to black, before revealing that you – THE VIEWING AUDIENCE – can decide if April lives or dies in Sharknado 4.
How?” you ask! “How can I, a humble little individual, be a part of such a monumental decision?” EASY. By Tweeting either #AprilLives or #AprilDies OR by voting on their website.
Cards on the table here, having a direct say in whether Tara Reid gets squished or not is pretty rad, to be perfectly honest. Although the lack of say in the method-of-potential-death feels a bit short-sheeted.
So for those of you stoked to the gills about the potential of seeing professional television industry types finding half-baked ways to put tornadoes full of sharks into different parts on the US, the news of Sharknado 4 is practically Christmas.
For those of you vehemently miffed about how things like this continually make it to air, it’s probably best you just ignore everything and continue going about your lives.
And for everyone else, SyFy will present Sharknado 3 to you all at 9:30pm tonight, and look at you with a kind of knowing look of invitation, to which you will all respond “No. No. Uh-uh. No way. Hell no. No. NO. Nope. Absolutely not, no. No. NO. NO… Fuck’s sake, OK FINE.”
You can’t escape it.