Rich Man Microdoses Homelessness After Selling Two Luxury Homes & Three Banksy Artworks

robbie williams

One would assume if you (allegedly) had enough money to buy the cheese on the moon, you wouldn’t try to suggest homelessness. Well, that’s kinda what “Rock Dj” shouter Robbie Williams did in a radio interview on Thursday.

Robbie, whose sex appeal would be a foreign concept to you if you’re under the age of 26, sat down with Aussie radio show Kyle and Jackie O this week.

In the interview he spoke about the usual problems ex boy-band members run into in life. You know, attempted murder by a $2000 hitman and homelessness, for example. The thing is though he isn’t actually homeless. My man Robbie here is filthy (allegedly) fkn rich (also allegedly).

“We’re actually nowhere,” he dramatically told the radio duo.

“We haven’t got an abode right now, we’ve pretty much sold everywhere, we don’t live anywhere and we’re trying to figure it out.”

My brother in Christ, if you call a home an “abode” you are not as down on your luck as you’re trying to sound.

“The four kids are constantly a Rubix Cube puzzle that we’re trying to sort out,” he continued.

“Because if they are schooled then they don’t see me because I’m all over the place and if they are home-schooled then they have another set of things that are a problem. We are all just trying to figure it out.”

Now let’s get into why Robbie saying he has nowhere to live at the moment isn’t as sad as it first appears.

The grizzled singer sold his luxury property in Wiltshire on Jan 22 for approximately £6.75M (AUD $12M).

He also reportedly sold his other (yes, other) luxe LA mansion to Drake of all people this month for a heaping £37M (AUD $65M).

Not to mention the three authentic Banksy artworks he owns which he sold in January as well. Man has mullah.

I don’t think selling multiple luxury homes and artworks at the same time counts as homelessness. You’re just temporarily mansion-less. Briefly without a multi-lane swimming pool. Experiencing a transient jaunt into lands longing for the luxuries of 22 bathrooms and 11 garages.

Suddenly the whole hitman thing doesn’t seem so shocking.