Our Office Tried To Pull Off Jonathan Van Ness’ Most Iconic Looks & Failed Miserably

jonathan van ness

Wholesome ‘Queer Eye’ angel Jonathan Van Ness has just announced an Australian tour for Feb 2020, and I don’t know what to tell you other than our office got a little bit hard over the news.

So hard, in fact, that we decided to create some of the myth, the legend’s best get-ups here in the PEDESTRIAN.TV office. Hoo boy let me tell you, his Instagram is full of some truly fire wardrobe content. Why Tan France is considered the Fashion Expert of the Fab 5 is beyond me. Sure, the man can French Tuck, but can he rock a tutu and heels like JVN? Rhetorical question.

Anyway, we’re not here to hang shit – we’re here to celebrate the human sunbeam that is JVN and all the stylistic glory his existence entails. Below you’ll find our office’s best attempts to be as exceptional as him and like, ten points for trying, right?

Instagram / @jvn, @louishanson

Denim and a white tee. No need to overthink it. With the right pose, anything can be fabulous.

Instagram / @jvn, @mattmonathphoto, @matttytoon

Yes, he is single. How? Unsure. Slide into the man’s DMs and find out.

Instagram / @jvn @jermcohen, @melissargray

A bit of colour coordination in the woods? Hot. This is absolutely my next LinkedIn profile pose.

Instagram / @jvn, @lamemattt

A living example that a print skirt and block-colour knit should be everyone’s go-to when a southerly sets in.

Instagram / @jvn, @chantelle_schmidt

Only works with a beard IMO.

Instagram / @jvn, @aaronjamess_

I only dream of being this flexible.

Instagram / @jvn, @fellowfillipe

Fuck me up, Mario Testino. This is how it’s really done.

Instagram / @jvn, @spyro_asteriou

If you’re feeling a bit nippy, recreate this get-up with these trackies and a bit of old-fashioned skin.

Instagram / @jvn, @crampingpapi

You got a door, you got a backdrop. You got a flanno, you got a fire DP.

Left image: Instagram / @jvn, @6georgiaturner

A jumpsuit or a nice slice of silk from Spotlight? The choice is yours!

Instagram / @jvn, @jjack.colquhoun

You can always take a photo from 0 to 100 with some motion. Alexa, play Wind Beneath My Wings.

Instagram / @jvn, this poser chose to not disclose their personal information.

Spot the difference, am I right? Serving country-boy-takes-on-the-big-smoke realness.

Instagram / @jvn, @serious.josh

A pensive stare is just what this textured look needs to hit the mark. Copy the look with this pleated skirt and a ruched, one-shoulder show-stopper from The Iconic.

Instagram / @jvn, @babyru.x

Bit of a basic? Don’t worry, if you’ve got some statement boots you’re laughin’. These unreal yellow babies are from Tyler Ray Hawkins. DM him for a pair.

Instagram / @jvn, @mopkins88

I’m sorry but a pair of ankle boots make literally anyone look one thousand times hotter. I want what they’re having.

Instagram / @jvn, @all_people_laugh

Sexy becomes cute with braids and a grin, which I will keep in mind next time I eat a banana.

If you think his above looks are fire, that’s just the tip – and we all know ~just the tip~ doesn’t count, right? Catch the fashion unicorn serve even more of where that came from during his ‘Road To Bejing’ tour from February 20-28, 2020. Tickets are on sale from 2pm, August 2 here.

Editor’s note: JVN is most comfortable with he/him pronouns but does not identify as a man. Read more here.