This Newspaper Article About The RHOM Photoshop Drama Is The Most Batshit Thing I’ve Ever Read

One of the biggest social media scandals that went down last week involved two former stars of the Real Housewives of Melbourne, Lydia Schiavello and Chyka Keebaugh.

ICYMI: It all started when OG Real Housewives of Melbourne star Lydia Schiavello, who recently announced her departure from the series, shared a throwback piccy from 2014 on Instagram that featured several other cast members, including Pettifleur Berenger, Janet Roach and Chyka, whose body appeared to have been morphed.

This sparked abject chaos on social media, with influencers and housewives alike coming to Chyka’s defence, and Lydia vehemently denying that the obviously photoshopped pics had been edited, but ultimately apologising to Chyka.

Over the weekend, the shitshow made the front cover of the paper (I swear to fucking god), have a peek below:

Credit: Twitter / @ben_webb__

“Warring Wives: Home Truths Behind Fat-Shaming Row,” the headline reads. Think that’s hysterical? Just wait ’til ya see the ensuing article, titled: ‘Fat Is In The Fire.’

The article alleges that Lydia has had a bee in her bonnet about Chyka for some time as she was hoping to become the Nigella Lawson of Real Housewives, but instead Chyka, who co-owns Australia’s largest privately owned catering and events company, The Big Group, took that title from her.

“Underneath the Botoxed lines, the feud and factions between our Melbourne divas have been simmering – make that erupting – for years,” the article reads.

“Rhino’d noses were put out of joint when it was declared Chyka would play the cooking, decorating and interior queen [on Real Housewives of Melbourne]. It seemed the natural fit to the Big Group catering maven.”

They added that “this derailed Lydia’s long-held plans of becoming Australia’s next Nigella Lawson.”

The paper adds that Lydia is believed to be the reason why Chyka left the show after season three.

To add to the drama, they even reached out to some of the other Real Housewives to get the tea. Apparently Gina Liano “wasn’t entering into the discussion,” meanwhile Lydia “has gone underground,” but Janet Roach happily picked up the phone and went to town on the sitch.

“Lydia kept stepping out of line [on the show]. She is obviously just a very insecure person looking for some kind of relevance and now she’s got FOMO,” she said, adding that she thinks Lydia “mucked up.”

“Chyka left the show because of Lydia – the things she did to Chyka were vicious and you know what, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

She added, “I think Lyd-iot was just trying to make herself look slim. Here is me being all generous of spirit.” Fucking YIKES.

Head here to read the full thing.