Most believed that polishing the turd (a turd in comparison to its O/S counterparts) that constitutes Victoria‘s botox-bolstered social scene would be near impossible – but here we are, heading into the third season of The Real Housewives of Melbourne.
The uncouth drama, forced passion and general vapidness of Lydia Schiavello will return to television February 21. In addition to the show’s normal antics, season three will see the arrival of a brand-spanking new housewife/property stylist, Susie McLean. She seems like she could give Gina a run for her money in terms of deadpan delivery of spice – there’s a few seconds of footage in the trailer of her telling Lydia what’s good.
The trailer also includes: Janet getting seriously sassy at dinner with an old dude, bulk open mouths of shock (supported by a voice over saying, “absolutely shocked” – which was pretty fucking obvious tbh), the ladies getting wet ‘n wild on a waterslide, Gina in absolute struggle-town on a camel, Gamble getting hitched on a beach – and Gina acting as the celebrant of the ceremony (#LawyerLyf), Pettifleur wearing a RIDICULOUS white hat, a baby plot-twist that will invariably be some stupid/over-hyped stunt (our money’s on Lydia getting a new pooch), a giant cake attempting to accost Chyka, Pettifleur DROPPING HEAVY VERBAL BOMBS (“listen to me, sugardaddy.com”), and Gina’s beautifully foul-mouth. There was, however, a noticeable lack of Jackie’ shine-shine-shine/“imma fucking shank you with moi psychic mind powers, ay” in the below trailer – maybe they’re saving her dramatic forays for later? Here’s hoping.
Anyway, enjoy:
The Real Housewives Of Melbourne Season 3, starts February 21 on Arena.
