Breakups are hard. No one needs to tell you, valued reader, but you can believe me when I tell you they. Are. Hard.
And who’s to say breaking up with ice-cream is any easier than a human person?! I mean I do, obviously, please do not quote me on that rhetorical question.
But if a message left on Fitroy gelato joint Gelato Messina’s answering machine, there’s at least one person out there who would beg to differ.
The unidentified woman quite rightfully called to complain that the shop was shut at 6pm on New Year’s Eve, and, as the increasingly hilarious audio demonstrates, she went through pretty much every stage of grief a breakup can offer (except acceptance, naturally):
“My New Year’s Eve…is now ruined. I had plans to buy at least a litre and a half of Messina, as I do every week, and sit on my couch, and eat it and make New Year’s Eve resolutions to never eat it again.”“And you know what? Because you are closed, it’s going to make my New Year’s Eve resolution of not eating Messina so much easier because I am very, very upset right now.”
After hearing just how much Messina has meant to this woman over the years, and how deeply they have now let her down, we get the big breakup:
“I guess this is goodbye. It was fun while it lasted.”“…If you want to come back it’s fine it’s fine. If you.. ifyoureallyjustwanttogetbacktogetheragain I’m happy to do that.”
Now, things like this almost always turn out to be PR stunts (which honestly would be fine this video is that fkn good), but Messina itself promised us it isn’t.
And would ice-cream, even in the shape of a company, ever lie to us?
Check out the immaculately well edited video below and judge for yourself, but either way this woman is easily going to go down as 2017’s first hero.
Source and photo: Facebook / Gelato Messina.
