MAFS couple swap…. continued. Let’s jump right in.
Melinda and Bunnings Douche (Harrison) are fighting over whether or not she tucked him in to the… couch. I actually wish these two were matched because it would be a head-butting yet somehow sexually charged hoot.
Evelyn tells Rupert about the sexy photoshoot and he looks thrilled.
Cam has decided that the rear-end of the MAFS experiment is the perfect time to tell Lyndall that he works remotely for weeks at a time. It’s not going to make a difference whether she’s in Purf or in Dahwen. AKA Perth or Darwin.
I don’t know how she’s lasted in this relationship this long. Cam is a summer-romance guy that you hang out with for fun, not a long-term relationship guy you get with for stability and routine.
Layton decides he doesn’t want to move back in with Melinda right now.
She grabs her pitchforks and heads over to Bunnings Douche and Bronte’s place.
Melinda demands that Bronte tells her what she did to her husband.
Bronte reckons Melinda doesn’t support her hubby. Melinda decides talking to Bronte is useless because her version of supporting is basically giving up on her own morals and values, so she decides to go over to Layton’s instead.
She’s crying and while I feel bad for her, I do love to see a little bit of emotion from this power couple. Layton agrees to come over and talk it out in their usual pad.
Now she’s really crying. She just wants Layton to put himself in her shoes.
He says he’s backed her throughout the experiment and now she’s the one who’s “done”. I dunno where they are now but this looks like a steamy sauna scene not a comforting bedroom scene.
She cares about him “so fucking much”, you guys. They’re too emotionally charged at the moment so are taking some time out. Which is exactly what was happening before Melinda retrieved Layton from his suite, where he was taking some time out. So we just wasted three minutes of our time.
Alyssa thinks there is not time to sit down and hash things out with Prince Eric in this MAFS experiment and whatever. What do they even do all day? Dan was able to have six-hour runs, after all. Also here’s an idea! Just appreciate your husband so no hashing out needs to happen.
It’s the annual Galz Night and Boiz Night and I’m so ready to be reunited with some of my faves (Caitlin, Sandy, Jesse, Janelle) and not so ready to be reunited with some of my not-so-faves (Shannon, Dan).
OK, what is Evelyn doing?
The boys are going out in Sydney’s Paddington which I only know from The Unicorn signage. Cam thinks he is funny by saying things like “schooner matatas” but nothing is funny with his hair like that, tbh.
Bunnings Douche reckons he stayed up to 2AM talking about life with Melinda and Layton thinks he is just trying to stir the pot. Has he met Bunnings Douche? Homeboy is the pot.
Mermade Hair must be loving this #gifted getting-ready energy from Janelle. A legit beauty influencer!
Claire‘s been speaking to Jesse (well done, you guys left like one day ago) but she’s scared of seeing Janelle. I would be scared of seeing anyone that reminded me of my worst moments as well.
Sandy is in the house and reveals that Dan’s been messaging her. Ew. She hasn’t told her parents about their breakup yet because of the shame a broken marriage brings to her community.
Over at Boiz night, Cam has been missing Thor and his hammer so is hoping to see Disney Daddy (Josh) tonight. Same.
There he is! Our king is looking good, no? The effect of not having someone berate you = glowing.
There is a real bromance brewing between Hugoat (Hugo) and Disney Daddy because apparently they are the same person.
Gross — Shannon is in the house and Ollie‘s reaction is all of Australia.
Shannon is not of the human species.
In fact, Caitlin — who is at the Galz Night — says being with him is like getting stuck in elephant shit.
Horny Mum (Melissa) is in the house to talk about dicks and such. Fuck, Tassie Devil Tayla‘s here too. And Claire.
Bronte refuses to say hello to the last one for god knows why.
The girls are catching Claire up on the MAFS couple swap. Bronte has decided to tell the whole table about Layton not living with her in a very dramatic fashion.
Sandy comes in hot to say she doesn’t believe Bronte has feelings for Bunnings Douche. “I don’t believe Harrison emotionally manipulates me,” she tells Sandy.
Imagine no one liking your husband. When it’s one or two people. sure. But 10+ people? Not a life I’d be looking forward to.
Bronte houdinis out of the MAFS Galz Night because she can’t hack it.
Alyssa is catching Horny Mum up on what she’s missed, including this key moment:
Janelle’s on her way looking fucking fantastic, mind you.
Claire greets her to say she’s “a million times sorry”.
Janelle decides not to hate on her. I guess Claire helped her dodge a bullet in the shape of a vaping, deflecting, blabbering a-hole, after all. Silver linings, people.
Speak of the devil, Crypto Dog (Adam) is at Boiz night. Haven’t missed his voice. He apologises and doesn’t blame a vape or alcohol for once.
He and Bunnings Douche are going at it for some reason. As much as I’m not a fan of Bunnings Douche, Adam really takes the cake hey. Why are you yelling during what’s a completely sensible outing, especially for 10+ men and alcohol?
That… was it? Sure. Fine. I’m so desensitised at this point, I’m going to need something big from the MAFS dinner party.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer and host of We’ve Done The MAFS podcast. Follow her on Instagram or TikTok.
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