It’s home stays week on MAFS and people have just discovered that Alyssa has a child.
Did you know she has a child? The word “child” has been uttered so frequently that it’s starting to lose all meaning. It’s merely a jumble of letters.
The whole “child” hullaballoo started when Duncan met Alyssa’s mothers’ group mates, because clearly the man has not been through enough on MAFS.
The trio of mothers started grilling Duncan about his thoughts and feelings about Alyssa having a child and the fact he won’t be a top priority, and for the billionth time he said the spawn’s existence was fine. Didn’t phase him. Water off a duck’s back.
But then Alyssa kept saying, “I have a child!” like a malfunctioning robot. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me to learn she’s trademarked the term. A Child™.
The good people of Twitter felt hoodwinked, bamboozled and lead astray to learn that Alyssa has A Child™.
“I have a child” #MAFSAU #mafs pic.twitter.com/KQijdlJY0E
— so tired (Taylor’s Version) (@pjk27779) March 20, 2023
How many times can Alyssa bring up the existence of her child in a single breath? #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/3g6NhiXCDY
— Emily Tammes (@EmilyTammes) March 20, 2023
Hey did anyone know ALYSSA HAS A CHILD??? #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/59m7MWVFVJ
— Bec (@misscynic) March 20, 2023
Sorry I was late Duncan #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/k8KrfMtRjC
— Ben Shute (@Ben_Shute) March 20, 2023
my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child my child #mafs #mafsau
— beatingdrums (@beatingdrums) March 20, 2023
Does Alyssa have a child? #MAFS #MAFSAU
— Troy Delmege (@thetroydelmege) March 20, 2023
I wish I started taking a shot every time Alyssa says a child” tonight cause I would be absolutely buckled right now #mafs #mafsau
— Lami🦋 (@heungminnie) March 20, 2023
Incase Duncan hadn’t heard Alyssa say she HAS A CHILD 50,000 times, she’s now brought her mothers group to also tell him she HaS. A. ChiLD. #MAFSAU #mafs
— bxoxu (@_bxou) March 20, 2023
alyssa and the cursed child #mafsau #mafs
— eurovision opinions (@mafs_opinions) March 20, 2023
Does Alyssa have a …………. CHILD!!!!!?????? #mafs #MAFSAU
— Breezy Pug (@breezypug) March 20, 2023
has anyone started tallying the number of times alyssa utters the word child yet #MAFSAU #MAFS
— abbey 🪷 (@JUSTKEEPDRVN) March 20, 2023
Other folks were simply confused that Alyssa was acting like the first person in the world to have A Child™.
Like, obviously her first priority is her son. That’s absolutely normal and understandable and fine. But there’s only so much reassurance Duncan can give her that he’s happy to be flexible and work around her priorities? You also have to be willing to let him into your life, you know.
It’s all very odd. We do not comprehend.
Oh FFS!
You’re not the first person in the world to have a child, Alyssa!
— Nez (@fraggle73) March 20, 2023
Are these the only 3 people to ever have had kids?!? Duncan is not that clueless ffs #MAFSAU #mafs
— Bbbeck (@bbbeckb) March 20, 2023
FUCK THE MAN HASNT EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO TRY WITH THE FUCKIN KID HOLY JESUS CHRIST IM LOSING MY MIND #MAFS #MAFSAU
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) March 20, 2023
did u guys know that alyssa is actually the only person ever to have a child #mafs #mafsau
— hi (@ladiesb1rd) March 20, 2023
Alyssa: You can’t understand what it’s like to have a child
Duncan: I know that
Alyssa: SO YOU ADMIT IT, YOU HATE MY CHILD #MAFS #MAFSAU
— Melanie Bracewell (@meladoodle) March 20, 2023
The episode ended with Alyssa and Duncan going on a boat so they could mix things up and talk about The Child™ on water, rather than land. I can’t tell you what else they discussed because I lost interest and also couldn’t look at the water in Sydney Harbour without feeling seasick.
If you’d like to find out what else happened tonight on MAFS (Evelyn and Rupert rooted! Lyndall kissed a fish for Cam!) you can catch up via our gorgy recap.
If you’re still chomping at the bit for MAFS-related gossip, you can sign up to our newsletter here or give our podcast We’ve Done The MAFS (hehe) a listen.
