MAFS Fans Wanna Know If ‘The Child’ Is Actually Just Alyssa Describing Herself In The Third Person

MAFS' Alyssa looking sullen with tweet overlaid which reads: "Alyssa: grow up. also Alyssa: vomiting and goofy face emojis"

The MAFS reunion is upon us and we are truly so close to this shitshow wrapping up. I, for one, am looking forward to regenerating my brain cells.

The episode started with what felt like one million flashbacks. It was just montage after montage of, like, Alyssa getting mad at Duncan and the good people of Twitter were not here for it.

There was also a lot of Alyssa blaming poor ol’ Duncan for the demise of their bin fire relationship and vowing to seek vengeance at the dinner party. Again, such behaviour was not welcomed with open arms. A shred of self awareness, luv!

The dinner party started getting hot and heavy as MAFS contestants of yore rocked up in their most dashing couture, and Alleged Queen Alyssa wasted no time going ham with the Duncan trashing. That man was getting dragged through the mud so much it was practically a spa treatment people would pay big bucks for. Begone, pores and blackheads!

Alyssa was telling Da Galz that Duncan had to grow up, but then when he walked into the room and greeted her, she pulled a face behind his back.

Is the “grow up” in the room with us right now, Alyssa? The internet wanted to know.

Some MAFS fans were even wondering whether the child Alyssa constantly mentions was simply herself, like how Steve Holt in Arrested Development always called himself “Steve Holt”. A real third person caper.

Then Alyssa had a deeply awkward one-sided screaming match with Duncan which involved the word “bro”, an insult that carries the same cadence as a passive aggressive “champ”.

She said she sacrificed her life for him which folks found v. ironic, seeing as she told the man she could only see him every second Wednesday and every other weekend.

Tee hee!

She then said something about a mask and I stopped following because I got bored and zoned out. Sorry! Only one more night of this, folks!

For a much more comprehensive look at tonight’s episode of MAFS, take a squiz at our gorgeous recap.

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