Can you not, Love Island Australia? Don’t get me heavily invested in a couple only for the dude to start slowly drifting out into the emotional sea, leaving his partner all sad and shit.
Yep, Adam and Cartier are on the rocks and honestly I don’t really see how things will improve from here! But let’s get into the wider recap, shall we?
We come back to the moment where Jessie recouples with Todd (fuck I am still struggling with these guys’ names. WHO IS TODD? WHO IS BLAKE?) leaving Gerard alone like a lost dog ball in the ocean.
He’s decided enough is enough and he’s outta the villa. Jessie bursts into tears which is upsetting to watch but also gave me a great look at her excellent nail polish?
IDK, some people have said Jessie’s tears are crocodile ones but I reckon she was genuinely cut up about Gerard’s decision. Hurting people sucks! It feels bad!
Side note – nothing is funnier than watching these people have an intensely serious conversation about broken hearts while wearing these jewelled stick-ons.
Jessie and Todd (it IS Todd) sit down for a chat, which Luke takes deep offence to because apparently people can’t cry over hurting someone but also be happy with someone else??? Fuck me mate, is this guy the most hypocritical douche on the planet or what?
Meanwhile Cartier is frustrated because apparently Adam doesn’t give her enough affection in the day. IDK what she wants here because this looks pretty affectionate to me:
Everyone goes to sleep, and in the morning Adam is still banging on about how annoying it is that Cartier likes to touch his leg/hold his hand or whatever. I kind of get it – if you’re not into PDA then you’re not into PDA. But I also think they’re both being super stubborn and making it a massive issue.
Aaron and Cynthia were CLEARLY up all night fucking or finger-fucking or dry humping – whatever the case, they’re super tired but also super into each other which is CUUUUUUTE… or is it. Something about Aaron is off-putting to me, I’m suss on him for literally no reason. Maybe it’s the conspiracy theorist in me but it’s VERY convenient he’s come in and had no bites, then shacked up with Cynthia and is now deeply in love with her.
TBH I’m suss on every guy in here so it’s really not an Aaron-centric conspiracy.
The guys get a text – they’re off for a bro’s day out and goddamn, it is extremely bro.
In classic sexist areas, while ~DA BOIZ~ get footy and beers by the beach, the girls get champers and face masks by the pool.
The boys grill Aaron about what he’s been doing in bed with Cynthia, while the girls go deep on Love Languages which fires up Cartier again – she’s still frustrated about Adam not giving her affection.
It gets very boring from there for about 40 years, just the same convos blah blah – Jessie likes Todd, etc etc. Then there’s a boring game of awards for most likely to shit.
Anna wins ‘Most Likely To Reach 1M Insta Followers’ (see? what??) and Josh/Anna take out the award for most likely to win the show.
Then it’s time for Cartier and Adam’s Big Talk. It… does not go well. Adam basically says he feels like their conversations have gone stale of late, that things are cooling between them. And he absolutely, 100% will not be getting more affectionate.
She cries in the video room, and god – your heart just breaks, doesn’t it?
It sucks because Adam shouldn’t have to do something he’s not comfortable with, but Cartier also deserves affection. If they can meet in the middle somewhere things might work out, but it’s not looking good mates.