We’re so close to the end of Love Island Australia season 2, and I’m really disappointed we haven’t been gifted with any elaborate girlfriend-proposals yet. Where is my trainwreck that was Grant & Tayla??
[jwplayer r9SlIwU8]
I’m just bored of these couples because nothing dramatic will happen from here on out, so at least give us cringey declarations of love, you know? Anyway. Recap time in case you spent the whole episode on your phone!
We come back to the aftermath of Cartier & Matt’s amazing kiss. They’ve gone from awkward mates to lying all over each other’s laps, which is a vibe but also – one kiss did that? Incredible.
During the night they continue the new PDA levels of their relationship, and it’s so nice to see Cartier with someone who wants to be affectionate too after Adam was like “don’t act like you know me ok”.
In the morning everyone is woken at the buttcrack of dawn for, you guessed it, that stupid game where all the couples get a fake baby to mind. This game is so stupid, it lasts for 12 hours so you don’t actually see any tension caused by said kid, so really we just have to deal with screaming plastic newborns for an entire episode.
They all give their children really uninspiring names – Anna and Josh call their’s AJ “for Anna and Josh”, in case we didn’t already get that. Cartier & Matt’s is Charlie Jnr, the only ones who go somewhat interesting are Cynthia and Aaron, who amazingly call their kid Jasmine LeBron. JASMINE. LEBRON.
Meanwhile Jessie and Todd have been left in jungle jail aka The Hideaway, meaning they have to come up with shit to get them air time. They decide looking at dolphins will seal the deal.
Meanwhile there’s plenty of bizarre baby shit going on in the villa.
The baby shit is so fucking boring, guys. The most interesting shit is that Pizza wants kids soon, and Blake seems mildly alarmed by this revelation, and Cartier/Matt have a very tepid argument about whether or not smacking is OK when parenting. Christ alive.
The girls get a text, time for Mums Day Out. They go drink wine and wax on about how in love they are with their respective partners, the guys mind the babies.
BORINGGGGG a text comes through / it’s eviction time / everyone around the fire pit / looks of absolute DEVASTATION on faces at the thought of going home a mere TWO DAYS before everyone has to fuck off anyway:
In absolutely fucked/lol scenes, all the couples who were marked as safe get to choose whether Todd/Jessie or Blake/Pizza go home, and they all slut-shame the fuck out of Pizza and Blake and basically imply that their relationship is just sex and therefore not worthy of ~the love island~ , while Jessie and Todd are the real deal. Ummmm maybe they’re just horny bc they’re adults guys and have to share a bed half-naked idk.
Anyway, Pizza and Blake get booted, no surprises there. If tonight’s evictee couple isn’t Jessie and Todd I RIOT. We must protect Cartier and Matt, the only people I give a shit about now, at all costs.
