‘LOVE ISLAND’ RECAP: Hot Damn, Our First R-Rated Bedroom Action Right Before The Final Week

Welp! The final elimination of a rando before the final week, you guys! This episode had everything – sex, tears, fights. All the good Love Island stuff, you know?

[jwplayer r9SlIwU8]

So we return to the scene of the triple-dumping crime, and once everyone says their goodbyes Pizza sits down with Blake/Todd (I honestly still can’t tell and I also honestly don’t care) to reiterate again how difficult a decision it was between him and Luke. He’s like, ok can we stop discussing this now.

love 2 be a 50% option

Pizza says she’s here to find someone to spend the rest of her life with, and Blake replies with “yeah I’m the same, I’m looking for like, more than casual” looool that is not the same thing. But you know, it’s kinda cute I guess if I gave a shit about these two and also remembered old mate’s name.

Todd/Blake (Jessie’s partner) spins a few riddles and Jessie absolutely plays up to her “I’m a dumb blonde!” faux-character (come on, as if she isn’t putting that shit on) and is all “eggs came before chickens because dinosaurs birthed them” or some shit.

my theory: Jessie is a secret genius with an IQ of 4,500

Pizza talks to Cartier, likely at the request of producers, about how she’s feeling about Matt. Cartier ends up breaking down into tears because she’s struggling to share a bed with ex Adam after getting to know him for a month, while also exploring feelings for Matt.

Pizza looks like she really didn’t want to get into an emotional chat and is cursing the producers.

ah fuck, ummmm there there you’re all good beb

Bizarrely, Matt and Cartier have gotten fixated on this idea that they MUST share a bed for their relationship to progress. What?? That is not real, you guys. Matt pitches them sharing the daybed and honestly you’d think he asked Cartier away on their first weekender as a couple.

“this is TOO romantic beb”

Pizza and Blake/Todd are sharing a bed and in outstanding areas for horny Love Island viewers, they immediately get down and dirty. G-strings come off! Hands are absolutely in vaginas! And on dicks! It’s wild, but most hilarious is Pizza being like “wow that was unexpected” when Blake starts (probably) fingering her after she literally grinded on him and said “I’m so horny”.

omg so unexpected that we start fondling when we both said we were horny

In the morning, Cynthia gets a text – her and Aaron are off on a bike date. She is less than enthused because she hates bike riding! It’s scary! I agree, especially when the other person is all let’s-go-as-fast-as-possible!

beb RACE ME

Pizza sits down with Anna and Cartier to drop deets about her sexy times with That Guy last night. Matt, fast becoming my villa favourite, hovers by the sink pretending to brush his teeth because he’s a gossip mongerer.

TFW someone gives you excellent goss

Meanwhile Anna’s response to the whole story is me.

drinking tea while getting tea

Blake/Todd/Who Cares is really put off by the overshare, which I do get to some degree – like I am an oversharer and a HALF but maybe not divulging dick size on national television to people I barely know.

He sits down to tell Pizza it’s not on.

ah shit

Pizza, stupidly, lies to save herself and says she barely said anything to the gals. HONEY, EVERYTHING HAS BEEN FILMED. You can’t escape your truth in here!

Cynthia and Aaron have a cute date, boring. Matt talks to Josh about Cartier, boring. More interesting is Cartier divulging to Anna that while she likes Matt, she still feels really heartbroken over Adam. Anna and Cartier seem like proper mates and it’s really nice seeing some actual real interactions in this villa, tbh.

but also wtf is Anna eating, is that lime on a cracker

She goes up to the balcony alone to have a bit of a solo cry, which is very understandable. Meanwhile Matt being worried about Cartier while standing vulnerably in his towel is a mood.

lol

Then BAM! Sophie’s back! The storm continues! Sophie tells them that in one week, the winners of Love Island season 2 will be announced. Also, no one new is coming (!!!) and this recoupling will be the final recoupling. Hot DAMN!

Couples, she tells the islanders, have to be mutually keen. Jessie starts, and picks Blake (or Todd?). Anna picks Josh. Cynthia picks Aaron. Pizza and the other Blake/Todd team up.

Then it’s Cartier’s turn and guys, it’s so emotionallllll – Adam looks like he wants to cry, Cartier DOES cry, it’s too much.

oh goddddd

Adam runs over to Cartier, gives her a hug and tells her she owes it to herself. She picks Matt and they’re very CUTE guys.

STOP IT GUYS

Adam leaves, and we have our final couples. Fun fact I hardly care about any of them, except Cartier and Matt so. There’s that.

Bring on final week!

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