This is my favourite part of Love Island Australia, you guys. The bit where EVERYONE GETS COLDLY BOOTED OUTTA THE VILLA.
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Last night saw three people get dumped, and someone else is going tomorrow night which is wild stuff. I have a feeling after that there won’t be any more newbies and we’ll be battling it out for the winning couple, but let’s see.
So we came back to Pizza doing the rounds, chatting to all the guys she likes. She’s now vibing big-time with Blake, after Adam rudely shut her down because she wasn’t “natural” enough for him.
Isabelle senses Pizza/Blake’s connection and weirdly just goes right in to shut their own burgeoning relationship down. Blake seems really confused but ends up agreeing that their connection has stagnated.
Meanwhile Aaron and Cynthia are… talking about evolution? Why are there two professional philosophers in this cesspit of Insta-influencers?
Is anyone else becoming a bit fond of Matt? He’s somehow become my house favourite and honestly I found the guy unbearable for ages. I still think he’s fucked over both Vanessa and Isabelle by letting the bros mercilessly roast them when they really hadn’t done anything wrong, but he’s funny! That’s all it takes at this point, with these people.
Anyway he’s vibing a bit with Pizza but let’s be honest, we’re all mainly here to see where Cartier/Matt goes, aren’t we? They still feel friend-zoney but I, an avid viewer, can see the sparks.
Everyone goes off to play a very branded KFC game called The Bucket Challenge – it’s basically large beer pong with disgusting looking foam balls coloured to look like chicken bits.
The only exciting bit was CARTIER AND MATT FINALLY PASHING! It was a long, excellent kiss.
They chat about it afterward and it’s clear Cartier really likes himmmmm oh my GOD guys just get married and have babies already.
Pizza meanwhile has to choose who to couple up with, and she’s torn between “chill” Blake & “wanna be around him all the time” Luke. She sits down with Matt to ask his advice, because apparently Matt is Dating Yoda now??? And his advice is “follow your heart, not your gut” which doesn’t even make SENSE what is the difference!
Sophie comes in, it’s time for shit to go down. First up, Pizza has to choose – at the LAST SECOND she chooses Blake. Then Sophie says the two singles, Matt and Isabelle, are at risk of being dumped from the island. BUT FIRST! A COUPLE IS GOING!
It comes down to Cassie/Luke and Jessie/Todd. In the end, it’s Cassie and Luke who get the boot. Luke and Josh get VERY upset about being split up, which is like – guys, you’re brothers? You’ll be fine?
Anyway then it’s time to see who gets shoved off out of Matt and Isabelle. The islanders vote for this one, and naturally pick Matt because does anyone even like Isabelle? The poor woman has been totally demonised in this villa.
Cartier is thrilled, and she tells Matt she’s keen to share a bed with him – extremely forward and confident for a 19 year old. I would be like HEHEHEHEHEHEHEheheheheheeeeeeeee *silence*.
But that’s why I’m not on this show.
