Now this. This right here. This is a bloody yarn, I tell you.
A woman in the Northern Territory (how all great yarns begin, let’s be honest) has been given a criminal conviction and a tiny fine after a court found her guilty of pinching a bbq chicken from a Coles, before attempting to hide the evidence by flushing it down the loo.
Let’s just run that one again real quick here: PINCHED A BBQ CHOOK, FLUSHED IT DOWN THE TOOT.
The 42-year-old woman pleaded guilty to thieving the chicken, total retail value $7.90, on March 22nd. Store management observed the woman placing the offending item in her backpack. Upon leaving the store they asked to see inside, but she kept walking instead.
Police were already present at the shopping complex in Casuarina Square, and she spotted them after exiting the building. Wanting to hide the evidence, the woman then ducked into a public bathroom and hid for more than 20 minutes, after which time she emerged, leaving a very backed up and overflowing toilet in her wake.
Cops reportedly asked her if she’d tried to flush the chicken down the loo, and she responded…
“No, toilets flood like this all the time.”
…which, come on now, is some ballsy-ass shit to front up to the one-time with.
The woman represented herself in court and asked for a community service order, but was denied. Instead, the court filed a criminal conviction against her, and was fined a grand total of $100.
For real though, we live in a country where Amber Heard and Johnny Depp can walk away scot-free (save for a MEGA EMBARRASSING apology video) for transgressing agriculture and immigration laws – the ones you cannot stop anyone in Parliament bleating on about given half the chance – and yet this forward-thinking ledge has to swallow a permanent mark on the record for an $8 BBQ chook.
Sometimes you just gotta laugh and think that this is Australia.
Source: ABC News.
