Coles Has Debuted Honey BBQ Roast Chooks & I’m Gonna Go Get Me A Fancy New Placcy Handbag

Veggos scroll away, for I bringeth Meat News. The people of Coles have introduced a new roast chook. A Honey BBQ roast chicken in fact. Are you salivating? I am.

The new chooks come marinated in garlic, honey and “liquid smoke” whatever the fuck that is. Kind of sounds like a Dungeons & Dragons spell but heck, I’ll eat anything once.

It also has a “mouth-watering breadcrumb stuffing, flavoured with paprika, garlic, honey and herbs” as per 7News.

That sounds absolutely bloody delicious.

And you can return the steamy recyclable carry bag into stores. Or you can keep it to use as a hand bag. If Crocs can be in fashion so can Coles chicken bags.

Tim Hickox, Coles’ product developer for seafood and deli said the company is “always looking for ways to innovate”.

“[The chicken is] the perfect weekday meal base to grab-and-go and add to their favourite recipes, such as tacos with charred corn salsa and chipotle mayo, or sliders with coleslaw and ranch dressing,” he said in a statement as per

Fuck yes, I would enjoy some honey BBQ chicken with coleslaw on the side.

The weather may be resoundingly shit but it’s a good excuse for an indoor picnic. Just try not to get honey smears all over your carpet. Unless you want the whole cast of A Bug’s Life popping in for afternoon tea!

Everyone knows the roast chook is an ideal snack. Some people even bring them to the cinema: no judgement here. If I had enough self-belief to eat an entire roast chicken during a film, surrounded by other people, my ego would reach incredible levels.

The Honey BBQ chooks are only available for a limited time, which is devastating to me personally. If you want to taste the chicken-y goodness you can snag one for $12. Class up that indoor picnic, go on.