Australia, meet Des. Des, welcome to your 15 minutes you randy mother fucker.
Channel Seven’s First Dates program returned to Aussie screens last week, again whacking together two strangers on filmed first dates for the country to watch them, more often than not, fail abysmally at romance.
Tonight’s easiest fav contestant is 67-year-old butcher Des, who made one hell of an impact on not only his date, 59-year-old pocket-rocket Peta, but our nation as a whole.
Third time might be a charm for Des! 💒 👰 #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/wew4njaCxm
— Bride and Prejudice Australia (@brideprejudice) October 3, 2017
Just the fact he was a butcher got people amped up, and then he want ahead and uttered the line “I’m used to handling me meat”.
DES WAS A BUTCHER, MATE YOU GOT ME. ITS KEL, PURVEYOR OF FINE MEATS YAS MEET YOUR KATH #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/GEV50Hr33j
— Hypothetical Tweets 🇱🇧🇦🇺💪🏽 (@claremaree) October 3, 2017
Hope Des doesn’t butcher this date. Boom boom! #FirstDatesAU
— junk_man29 (@junk_man29) October 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/tayler_hocking/status/915138044201537536
Des likes to slap his meat around #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/yS3xlSbBtk
— 𝐃𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬 (@DylanMatthews91) October 3, 2017
Peta even went ahead and jumped straight to a question normally reserved for, actually, never. Never say this line: “are you still sexually active?”. Despite the objective horribleness of such a question (of course his answer was yes), people still frothed the pairing… mostly:
Des when asked if he’s still sexually active #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/je5KCGYjQB
— Catarina Pav (@caterinaokarina) October 3, 2017
Peta: “so are you still sexually active?”
Des:#FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/im6EBWtwxW— 𝐃𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬 (@DylanMatthews91) October 3, 2017
Oh God, Peta and Des talking about their love of being nude #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/OUHqJC6x7w
— David Thompson (@Davidgt84) October 3, 2017
#FirstDatesAU Des is adorable, Peta needs to be happy pic.twitter.com/q9OR4ey2to
— Nic Flinn (@ncljne1993) October 3, 2017
Finally, and seriously this is the moment Des took on God-like status in my eyes, he said the following to the camera on his thoughts of Pete:
If I knew where she farted I’d roll in it like a dog.
Once again:
“If I knew where she farted I’d roll in it like a dog.”
“Pull me finger dahl.”
Unforch that may have been the deal-breaker as Peta decided to not go on a second date with old mate Des. MY. FUCKING. HEART.
https://twitter.com/unluckylingerie/status/915147121451458560
Peta 100% led Des on them, why ask him if he’s sexually active if you’re not going to see him again? #FirstDatesAU pic.twitter.com/iTSlvrl7dJ
— 𝐃𝐲𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬 (@DylanMatthews91) October 3, 2017
RIP Des & Peta. Forever in our memories.
https://twitter.com/tayler_hocking/status/915145372133027840
