Research Says Female Magpies Are Louder Than Males Which Wouldn’t Happen If They Fkn LISTENED

I actually hate birds, but I do have a soft spot for magpies. Sure, those swoopy bois can cause real damage if you get in the way of their nesting season, but they’re pretty friendly and I do love an Aussie animal icon.

Some new magpie research has really tickled me this morning – according to researcher and associate professor at University of Western Australia, Amanda Ridley. She had a chat to the ABC, talking about her eight years of extensive research into the Aussie bird.

Amanda had heaps of insights – magpies can sing for up to 70 minutes, and are one of the “most vocally complex songbirds in the world”, but the best bit from her research is that the female magpie, in very ME AREAS, is louder and more chatty than their male counterparts.

But also ten bucks says the female magpies are only louder coz their male counterparts never fucking LISTEN!!!! FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!! TOM!!! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE OUT THE SPIDER CARCASS GARBAGE FIVE TIMES ALREADY!!!!

Here’s another amusing tidbit from her research – apparently, I shit you not, magpies can tell if another magpie is LYING.


“We’re looking more and more into the vocals and what we’ve also found is that magpies can tell the difference between individuals who give them reliable information and those who don’t,” Amanda told the ABC.

Basically from a couple of recordings, they deduced that when a magpie made a bird call to warn against a predator, other magpies repeated it. But when one made a similar call but there wasn’t a predator, the birds discerned there was no danger based on the call, I guess?

I have so many questions. Why was the magpie lying? Are they a pathological liar? Are they trying to steal their friend’s food? Either way I don’t like it. Animals shouldn’t be able to LIE, what the fuck is that.

Next you’re going to tell me my dog has worked out how to open the fridge and eat all her dinner for the week.