I’m just gonna say it, FBOY Island has been the best love-based reality show of 2023. It’s got drama, it’s got sex, and it’s got women holding men accountable for their shitty behaviour. So, if I’m honest, it’s got basically everything I look for in a reality show.
Over the last few weeks, the series has been released in two episode drops. On Monday, the final two episodes of the season were released and boy, were they bangers.
While I’ve recapped all the other episodes on our TikTok and IG in under 60 seconds, the finale was so good that I feel like we need more than 60 seconds to break it down so here we are. If you’re new here, either watch the goddamn show or watch our recaps to catch up.
In episode nine, the evicted FBoys graduated from host Abbie Chatfield‘s FBoy reformation lessons. Ever since they landed in Limbro (it’s like limbo but for FBoys, go figure) she’s been giving them tips on how to be less of a dick to women, and finally, they’ve reached graduation.
“I’m proud of you all and how far you’ve come. You didn’t even laugh at me saying the word ‘come’,” she said proudly to a bunch of dudes in graduation hats. Hell, even the evicted nice guys came out to support them. Cute, no?
As a final test of their newfound skill, all the evicted boys are taken back to the villa for a game called “Mansplain” where they dish the behind-the-scenes dirt on the remaining dudes vying for Molly, Sophie, and Ziara‘s hearts.
In case you need a refresher, we’ve got FBoy Vernon and nice guy Nick after Miss Molly.
Queen Ziara is having to decide between her two nice guys, Cory and Izaya.
And finally, babygirl Sophie is making the tough choice between Fboy Joshy and nice guy Justin.
Molly and her blokes were first up and Vernon got absolutely roasted by the evicted boys for breaking up with his ex to go on the show.
This was a pretty big talking point in previous episodes after Fboy Mitch had spread the rumour amongst the contestants. He claimed to have matched with Vernon’s ex Brogan on a dating app before coming to the villa.
According to Mitch, Vernon was only on the show to bring home the money and naturally, he told everyone who had ears. But smooth-talking Verno was smart enough to get out of it until the Mansplain challenge where he got his ass handed to him.
Conversely, no one had anything bad to say about Nick, who also goes by the names of Cuddle Bear and Big Dick Nick.
Next up was Ziara and her fellas. Evicted Fboy Clay threw his mate Izaya under the bus by saying that they planned on going out after the show and picking up chicks. Then, the mystery of Cory’s age was finally solved after Caleb called him out for lying about it. Cory came clean and established he truly is 32 years old, and not 35 like he told the blokes. Weird thing to lie about in my opinion but go off king. The rage in Ziara’s eyes is visible.
But while Caleb is popping off at Cory, evicted Fboy Sean decides to let the girlies know about the fucked comment Caleb made before the very first elimination. If you join me in casting your mind back to the second episode of the season, Caleb had quipped the phrase: “Sometimes chicks don’t have good pussy sometimes.”
It’s yucky, misogynistic behaviour, and of course, the girls are not impressed.
“What the fuck does Caleb know about my vagina? For his information, it’s a magnificent vagina,” Molly says, cementing the fact that Caleb will never, ever get to discover the quality of any woman’s vagina who was present that day.
Finally, it was Sophie’s turn.
As it happens, the evicted boys are huge fans of Fboy Joshy and aren’t too fond of nice guy Justin. They’re saying that Joshy is a hilarious breath of fresh air, and claim that Justin said he didn’t find any of the girls hot. As we’ve seen, Sophie is a pretty forgiving gal and she just wants Justin to own up that he said it so they can move on.
Justin says he doesn’t recall saying that. Not sure if that was your best move, king.
Now that the remaining dudes have been sufficiently roasted, it’s time for the 24-hour dates.
Molly has a cute date with Vernon where they go parasailing. They both have a fun-loving adventurous nature and this date totally shows that. But, with all the tea from Mansplain challenge, she’s deadset on quizzing him about his ex. He denies everything, saying he broke up with his girlfriend four months ago, and has nothing to hide.
While he’s begging Molly to trust him on the date, he’s spinning a different story for the one on one chats with the producers. Vernon is a fuck boy through and through and is determined to take the money and run.
It makes me want to scream “MOLLY NO” but at the same time, it’s so much fun that the producers are letting us in on this little secret. Will she lose the $50k by picking cheeky lil’ Verno? Only time will tell.
Meanwhile, Sophie and Justin are on their 24-hour date on the beach. The weather is grizzly and so is the situation. Look, I’m sorry but he seems like a boring dude.
This is a complete generalisation and my own bias but there’s something about blonde men that I don’t trust. Sorry.
Anyway, Justin won’t own up to saying that he wasn’t interested in any of the gals. It’s a bit of a weak-ass cop-out because it was clearly filmed as this is a reality show.
And then there’s Ziara who is on a horse ride with Cory.
Cory is beyond aware that his competition is a much younger bloke, so he’s making it super clear to Ziara that he can provide for her and is willing to make sacrifices for their relationship.
She’s stoked by this and announces that Cory is the front-runner. I don’t believe her whatsoever but that’s okay. We’re here for the ride.
It’s at this point that the episode comes to a close, and fans across the nation say thanks to BINGE for releasing two episodes at a time.
The finale episode kicks off with the gals chatting about their first round of dates. Judging by the fact that none of them sealed the deal with their dates last night, it’s looking like we’ve saved the front runners for the second round of 24-hour dates.
Sophie is now spending time with Joshy doing some life drawing by a stream. He’s stark naked on a stool with a bunch of bananas in front of his banana. Say what you will about the bloke but he doesn’t seem to be phased by anything. Not even his lil’ frog butt making an appearance on national television.
Sophie’s drawing is terrible and if I was Joshy, I’d make it my display picture on IG. Food for thought, food for tummies.
Anyway, Sophie loves a funny dude and is so smitten by eyebrows McGee that she invites him back to the villa. While it’s not explicitly confirmed, I’m truly hoping they boned. Girlie hasn’t been laid in two years. TWO YEARS.
Meanwhile, Ziara and Izaya are chilling at the beach while it pisses down with rain for their date. It’s not long before Ziara quizzes Izaya about what Clay had to say about them going out and picking up chicks.
“I’m not against partying, I’m definitely in my party era,” she says. Love that for her.
Izaya says that he was just trying to hype up his mate. Sure, okay. It’s not convincing but he’s so clearly her favourite that it’s fine. Later, back at the villa, Izaya opens up and explains that while Cory can give her security, he wants to grow together. It’s very sweet and I reckon they seem like a great fit together.
And finally, it’s time for Molly’s last date with Cuddle Bear Nick. They lucked out and got to go hang out on a full-on yacht. I’d be spewing if I was stuck with a rainy beach and watched the show back to see these two thriving on a yacht but whatever.
Of course, their date goes super well and Molly invites him back to the villa and they fuuuuucccckk.
Okay, okay, now it’s time for the big decision.
Abbie’s there, looking like a dream in a leopard print dress, asking the final two guys to shoot their shot with the girls one last time.
Justin said some spiel about having something really special. It was sweet but ironically, nothing special. Joshy spoke about his FBoy status, saying that she helped him realise that he could love again.
Sophie decides to take a risk with a FBoy, picking Joshy!
Justin looks devastated, and ironically, he gets the typical nice guy treatment with Sophie asking whether they could be friends.
But now, the power is in Joshy’s hands. He can decide whether to split the $50K with Sophie or take the money and run.
Homeboy saw an opportunity for camera time and he grabbed it with both hands.
“$50,000 is life-changing and it could really help me and my family a lot. So I’m gonna choose to take the money…” he said, as the camera pans to Sophie’s devastated face.
“…and split it with you,” he finishes, super smug.
PHEW. For a second there, my heart broke for her but thankfully he was just doing a bit. Nice one.
You can check out the heartstopping moment below.
After that rollercoaster of emotion, it’s up to Ziara to make her decision. Cory says the same shit we heard before about protecting and providing for her. He’s a fully grown, adult man. He knows his niche. But he’s got nothing compared to Izaya who confesses his love for Ziara.
And the best bit? She says she loves him back! They smooch before she officially chooses her dude! The cameraman knows his fkn cue because he pans to Cory at the moment he realises he’s lost the girl and the $25K. Rough stuff, my guy.
And finally, we have Molly. Her storyline has definitely been the most dramatic and the drama isn’t stopping now.
She’s got a legit, fortified FBoy and a wholesome big-dicked nice guy. But before she makes her decision, she asks Vernon one question: “Do you want to be with me?”
“One hundred percent,” he replies.
But Molly isn’t having any of it. She’s about to teach this fuck boy a lesson.
Like any girl in her 20’s, Molly has done some research. She’s found Vernon’s ex-girlfriend Brogan online and INVITED HER TO THE MANSION.
I don’t know what he expected when she has a name like Brogan. There’s got to be, what, like six female Brogans max?
We discover that earlier that day Molly met up with Brogan to find out the truth. Brogan is a true gal pal because she’s ready to dish the tea. She even whips out texts from Vernon and claims that he said he was going on the show to lie his way into some cashola before coming back to sweep Brogan off her feet.
Lucky for both the gals, they’re done with FBoys and ready to expose him.
Drag him, sis, DRAG HIM!
When Vernon sees his ex, he does not look happy. But the fellas watching it all play out, they’re fkn stoked. And sweet lil Nick is just so happy to be chosen, he looks like a kid who was picked first on the school basketball team.
Vernon walks himself out and tries to give Abbie a hug on the way out but homegirl is not having it.
While you’d think that was a happy ending, it gets even better. Molly reveals that she wants to give some of the $50,000 to Brogan for helping her out Vernon!
Brogan is now sitting next to Mitch, the guy she matched with on a dating app! Wow, could love blossom there too? Now that would be a story to tell your kids one day.
So there you have it folks, we’ve come to the end of Season One of FBOY Island. Now, here’s to hoping that our good friends at BINGE will renew the series for another season.
You can watch the whole series of FBOY Island Australia on BINGE now.
(Image Source: Instagram / FBOY Island @fboyislandaustralia)