Howdy ho slaybourinos! Welcome to the very last recap for Stan’s RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under. We’ve witnessed some batshit chaos together, we’ve cried together and most importantly, we’ve laughed together. What a season!
I’m almost sad to see this season come to an end. It was so exceptional, from the cast to the improved filming quality, and I really started to love each and every one of these girls.
Ah well, let’s make the most of this finale recap before we pack our bags and say goodbye for another year.
Last week was the makeover episode and Kween Kong absolutely nailed the fuck out of that challenge. Unfortunately, Molly Poppinz (big tits of the season) had to pack up her G cups and say au revoir to the competition. Thus Drag Race Down Under became just like an episode of Charmed: three people.
Top three baby! This is it!
Hannah Conda, Spankie Jackzon and Kween Kong all chit-chat about how far they’ve made it, and all the madness they’ve had to endure to get to this moment.
We’ve seen Minnie vs Pomara, Minnie vs Beverly, Minnie vs Aubrey, Minnie vs the cherub statues in the werk room, Kween vs Beverly, Kween vs herself — it’s been a lot.
Definitely more drama than last season’s cast but at least this time around we had a whole lot less scandal.
RuPaul appears in the werk room to tell the girls that the final maxi challenge of the season will be to write lyrics to one of her songs and perform it on the main stage with ridiculously hard choreography.
It was so nice to see her actually in New Zealand and filming. At least she didn’t appear via Samsung flip phone like half the guests this season.
The girls get straight to it and listen to RuPaul’s song “Who is She” to prepare.
It’s one of the least listened-to songs from her recent album Mamaru, but it’s also a pretty banging bop. All the incredible songs have gone to the US season, so yeah, Drag Race Down Under got the scraps. But at least they’re hot scraps? It’s like dumpster diving near Sydney’s northern beaches.
Ring ring! It’s our friend the Samsung flip phone!
Special guest Delta Goodrem (!!!!) is here to talk to the queens about how to sing. Really she’s just popping in to say hello, because if there’s one thing most drag queens cannot do, it’s hit a note. Not even Delta can save them.
The queens then sit with RuPaul and Michelle Visage to have a Tic-Tac lunch, and I must say the Tic-Tacs have increased in size over the years.
These look like jaffa balls almost? Now that’s a fkn tasty treat.
RuPaul clearly hasn’t been affected by inflation. Must be all the money he makes off of his… side hustles.
While Kween is dining on jaffa ball Tic Tacs, Hannah and Spankie give makeovers to the cherub statues.
They decide to name them Chantelle and Flangelina and even give them voices. Honestly, put them into the competition so we can go for a few more episodes. I’m sure they’d do way better than some other queens did.
It’s finally time to rehearse some dance moves and the choreographer is none other than Elektra Shock from season one of Drag Race Down Under.
Our daddy who art in New Zealand himself. It’s so nice to see him back on our screens. I love how confident he was in this episode.
It’s refreshing to see him in his element instead of having to deal with all the stresses of the competition. Plus, he’s still as dreamy as ever.
The queens then return to the werk room after busting their asses to some wild choreo, and decide to read letters sent from loved ones back at home.
Hannah reads a letter from her boyfriend, and it’s actually so fkn sweet.
I mean, look at this thing:
Kween also gets a letter from his boyfriend, and it’s just as heartwarming.
Spankie however reveals that it has been quite some time since she’s been in a relationship. I was personally shocked because she’s so funny, gorgeous and lovely that literally anyone would be in a dream relationship if it was with Spankie.
Letters away and it’s performance time. Everyone in Australia and New Zealand gets to listen to RuPaul’s song “Who is She” for the first time in their lives. Hell, RuPaul is probably listening to this song for the first time too.
Hannah’s verse is a little strange, talking about snake pits of love, while Spankie and Kween’s verses are fun and their dance moves are fluid.
Also, I’m pretty sure those two cowboys in the back are Elektra Shock and his twink backup dancer! I can match a man to his torso any day.
Now let’s get into the stunning finale looks from this week’s Drag Race Down Under episode. The theme? Grand finale eleganza extravaganza.
Hannah looked like a DREAM this week in her incredible purple lewk. I was so stunned when she stepped out onto the runway.
Kween also fkn ATE this runway with a gorgeous green look paying homage to her Samoan heritage.
This look was my personal fave — the way it moved down the runway was UNREAL.
Spankie came out in a look that was the most Spankie approach to high glamour I think I’ve ever seen.
She looked incredible. Somehow she’s been elevating herself over the course of the competition despite it being such a short time.
The queens are then asked to stare at pictures of their younger selves and say some words to them — a Drag Race tradition that really needs to disappear — and are also told that before a winner can be crowned, they must lipsync to “Wow” by Kylie Minogue.
Everyone eats the lipsync up but Spankie makes Ru laugh the most with her moves and mannerisms. Although there’s no winner announced for the lipsync, my money would be on Miss Jackzon.
Finally, (there really are SO many steps before someone gets a damn crown) last year’s winner Kita Mean enters the building with a sceptre to hand over the title of Drag Race Down Under‘s next drag superstar to the next winner.
And God, she looks AMAZING. It’s like a gayer version of the look she was crowned in, I’m obsessed.
And the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under is… SPANKIE JACKZON!
Spankie MOTHERTUCKER is in the house TONIGHT! FUCK YEAH!
I’m honestly not surprised at this result at all. Spankie just oozes charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, and she deserves this crown so much.
Her personality was exceptional, her kindness was out of this world and her looks constantly elevated as the competition went on.
Congratulations Spankie on your much-deserved win! Now let’s all go out there and support this exceptionally beautiful human!
