Welcome friends to the grand finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under. This is the eighth episode in the season, and my goodness what a season it’s been. There’ve been so many highs and lows, so many tears and victories, and now it all must come to an end. Well, without further ado, let’s crack into the final Drag Race RuCap of the year. I promise I won’t cry.

The first point of order for the Drag Race Down Under girls is to mourn the loss of our dear friend Elektra Shock. Truly she was one of the only contestants with a consistent storyline, so it’s a shame to see our favourite underdog leave the competition completely.

Rumour has it she went straight from the filming studio to Warragamba, because those wigs were thirsty as hell.

Kudos to Kita Mean for winning that lipsync though. Like I always say, more Kita Mean is never something to complain about.

kita mean
call the ambulance, Elektra’s had an overdose.

The queens all gather in the werk room for a rather strange and fever-dreamish flashback sequence that was clearly from the brilliant minds of the producers.

In it, we saw all of the old queens from Jojo Zaho to Etc Etc, and any chance to see Daddy Zaho on the final episode of Drag Race Down Under I will take. This makes sense with my fantasy. I knew Zaho would make it to the finals somehow.

violently remembers Snatch Game.

Also, in the flashback sequence, the cunnilangel from the last episode returns!

However, in the grey flashback sequence, it definitely looks a lot more evil. I do not claim this energy. Manifesting over my crystals to expel this wicked cunnilangel.

drag race down under
spin three times in the mirror and say “cunnilangel” for a surprise. 

Next up we get a random-as-anything visit from iconic Aussie singer-songwriter and household name Chloe Lattanzi and her mother, Olivia Newton-John.

They both looked fkn fab, and it was actually a lovely little video appearance.

Also the idea that Olivia-Newtown John was saved for the finale while Kylie Minogue appeared on episode 2 kinda feels correct in my spirit. I for one believe in Xanadu supremacy. Grease dominance. Physical ascendancy.

Olivia Newton-John Drag Race Down Under
my last two brain cells watching the flashback sequence from earlier.

Also, here’s some behind the scenes tea from Instagram that I spotted, which warmed my heart. Love these two.

Alright no more fun, we’re skipping to the trauma section of the episode, which starts at around 9:30 minutes in and truly ends at about 44:30. So yeah, it’s a pretty brief moment. Blink and you’ll miss it.

First up into Dr. Ru and Secretary Michelle Visage’s office is Scarlet Adams, and the two talk about the tantalising nature of the ego. I truly zoned out and thought I was watching Dr Phil for a second there.

Meanwhile in the werk room, while Scarlet is unpacking her traumas…

Art Simone Kita Mean Drag Race Down Under
hang in there baby.

Michelle Visage then grills the fuck out of Art Simone and uncovers a shit tonne of trauma associated with not looking after yourself and always looking out for others.

It’s a pretty intense moment, and is kinda awkward to witness.

Speaking of awkward, the therapy sessions don’t stop there, and next up is Kita Mean, who is asked to hug her inner child.

If you can think of a trauma, Ru mentioned it in this interview with Kita, and my heart broke for her. However, there’s something about Ru talking about an “inner saboteur” for seventy seasons straight that makes me scream into the void.

kita mean drag race down under
when the hookup cancels and you’re all alone for the night.

Thanking my gay Gods right now, because the dynamic therapy duo of Ru and Michelle talk to Karen from Finance about how she should start a theme park of office-related characters.

I wish I was kidding, but hey, at least it wasn’t another examination.

After this, the Drag Race Down Under girls head on over to learn their stunning dance moves from the stunning dance coaches, and friends, can we take a moment to admire these two. Gay excellence right here.

choreographer drag race down under
the Batman and Robin we deserve

Following this, the gang starts to get deep and personal about realising yourself and owning your queerness as they prepare for the runway.

It’s heartwarming, albeit a little bit of trauma 2: electric boogaloo.

Honestly, I have to say, whether you’ve enjoyed this season or not you really have to appreciate what it’s offering us here.

This is New Zealand and Australian queer brilliance watched on an international level. Every individual has a unique story, and we get to witness it in bright colours on our screens.

Shout out to everyone from this season, because it has been the very first time the world has witnessed our drag and our humour and our art (literally). It’s been such a ride, and I’m sure the queens will go on to do brilliant things, especially given the fact that International All Stars is gonna be a thing.

Anyway, back to the show!

art simone drag race down under
please crown Art’s mouth as the winner of this season.

The queens perform a lovely little dance and song to RuPaul’s bop I’m A Winner, Baby, and everyone does a pretty good job. I must say though, Karen’s verse fully sounded like an advert for an office job. Not a single rhyme to be found.

Runway time and lemme just talk about my two fave looks, because we’ve seen enough trauma from this episode already.

First up is Art’s sapphire look, and my goodness what a showing. Truthfully if this challenge had a winner, it could very well have been Art, because her verse was stunning and her look was KILLER. Well fkn done, legend.

art simone drag race down under

Next up is the New Zealand icon Kita Mean, who absolutely blew me away with this sparkling angel look with opening wings. A legend, an icon, and she is the moment.

kita mean drag race down under

Next up the four finalists are asked to lipsync to Physical by Olivia-Newton John, and I was truly shocked to see a guest judge appear on the same episode that their song is used on. The Minogues were truly robbed.

It was a pretty standard lipsync, and all four pulled out their best.

Now for the fun part though, the crowning of the winner.

Kita Mean Scarlet Adams Drag Race Down Under

Quirky, Kooky, Kitsch, Quick and Keen, our crowning winner is Kita Mean!

She’s provided so much unabashed joy and whimsy to this season and it is an absolute honour to call her our first queen. Every week she’s brought her A-game, and she’s truly the most polished of the batch, coming into her reign with class, glamour and personality.

What a fkn brilliant queen. Kia ora you legend!

kita mean drag race down under winner

Image: Stan