As a fully-fledged drama addict, I keep my fingers on the pulse of two things: The Bachelor franchise and good ol’ tabloid journalism.

I can’t help it, I’m addicted to juicy gossip from questionable *anonymous sources*. So like the rest of Australia, I was clicked on this article about Ciarran Stott’s *confirmed* new girlfriend faster than you can say “Nollsie was robbed in the 2003 Australian Idol grand finale.”

Now, as a journalist, I read through countless bullshit anonymous source stories, and have learned to take everything with a giant grain of salt. But it doesn’t take a genius to work out that this *confirmed* dating leak is obviously very facetious.

Lucia Pilcher, a frankly hilarious 20-year-old from Brisbane shared the obviously joking image on Instagram with the caption “Date night”.

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Date night ???? @ciarranstott

A post shared by Lucia Pilcher (@lucia_pilcher) on

For a regular run-of-the-mill 20-year-old with 3,000 followers, the post went pretty viral. She’s received over 800 likes on the lurveee announcement in just four days, which is pretty impressive for those of us that aren’t influencers.

Unfortunately, Lucia apparently copped a heap of hate for her tongue-in-cheek post, but most of the comments have since been deleted. She has confirmed on her Instagram story that this was an obvious joke, and clearly she didn’t think she’d be on the homepage of tabloid magazines like the Daily Mail and Who Mag for a simple joke for her friends.

“Date night” photos usually involve both parties being in the same image. If she was trying to make this believable, she probably would’ve at least tried to take a photo with him.

I know Lucia’s hand is in the second photo, but Ciarran doesn’t exactly have the romantic gaze of a man who has just found the love of his life, does he?

OBVIOUSLY, Ciarran is going to make a return to Bachie Mansion in the coming weeks, so he clearly wouldn’t be going on dates with Lucia.

You can read my ~very official~ Bachelorette theory here, where I detail exactly when each contestant will be eliminated, and when Ciarran will make his return to the mansion.

So let this be a lesson to all of you, don’t make jokes about dating celebrities because your face might end up plastered all over the internet as Ciarran’s new ~mystery girl~.

Image: Instagram / @lucia_pilcher