Tonight was The Masked Singer Australia semi-final and how are we feeling, folks? Sad, because we’ll no longer be able to watch C-list celebrities frolic onstage beneath disgustingly divine masks? Or relieved, because we finally know whomst bogan king Blowfly is? I’m going to assume it’s the latter because I, for one, am screaming at the fact Blowfly is none other than Shannon Noll!
I’ve loved the Auscore insect since the moment I laid eyes on him and tonight’s performance of “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi only made me adore him more. I’ve still got goosebumps.
Abbie Chatfield successfully guessed that Blowfly was Shannon Noll and honestly, good on her. She’s been fighting for his identity since day dot, pitching arguments that gave me déjà vu to when I did debating in high school. She deserved this win.
Chrissy Swan thought Monsieur Fly was Grant Denyer, a guess I personally disagreed with because Blowfly had taller energy (no offence, Grant). Hughsey thought Xavier Rudd was behind the mask which, again, was wrong on so many levels because not an ounce of patchouli oil was in sight. Mel B arguably had the most rogue man in mind, however, when she revealed she thought he was Arctic Monkeys frontman and the bloke behind my sexual awakening Alex Turner.
Her reasoning was that his mum was a German teacher and there was a German flag in the clues montage, which is extremely specific. However, if Alex Turner were to perform on The Masked Singer Australia, surely he would be a giant monkey? No? Am I the only one who thinks this?
But Mel B changed her mind during the final round of guesses and sided with Abbie, also believing Blowfly to be Nollsy. It was a move I supported but also found quite controversial, if I’m honest.
The clues that revealed Nollsy as the masked singer
Here’s a handy reminder of the clues that Blowfly dropped:
Clue 1: Blowflies don’t hang around garbage dumps, that’s full of stuff from the past!
Clue 2: You’ve gotta be in it to win it, but you don’t have to win it to do well.
Clue 3: I’ve taken plenty of shots and heaps have paid off, like my mate Otis and Schindler.
Clue 4: Life doesn’t take you where you think it will, but I’ve always been a risk taker! Some pay off, some not.
Clue 5: Everyone needs a little help, but not me. I’m winning this trophy on me own!
Catch up on The Masked Singer Australia on 10Play. Screaming, crying and throwing up that the grand finale is coming in hot.