*Cue inspirational music* WE’VE DONE IT. WE MADE IT TO THE END. We survived countless examples of dogging the boys, soppy firefighters and, all in all, Angie being pure entertainment each and every episode.
Tonight’s episode was filled with declarations of love, more attractive brothers, judgemental fathers and, finally, Carlin being crowned the victor of Angie’s heart – God bless his beautiful peach emoji bottom. (Stay tuned for the actual recap, coming very soon.)
Anyway, I had about 17 panic attacks – my heart literally fell through my asshole when Timm walked up to Angie first – but now that the dust has (sort of) settled, it’s time to review the web’s best reactions.
Disclaimer: you may cry.
[jwplayer gxLFr3ky]
First up, we couldn’t help but appreciate how different the boys truly were.
Safe to say Angie doesn’t have a ‘type’.
Carlin and Timm could not be any more different if they tried. #bacheloretteau
— Nez (@fraggle73) November 14, 2019
Only in Australia does the Bachelorette have to choose between a cavoodle and a three legged mix breed. On a very much related note: I’ve never been prouder to be Australian. #BacheloretteAU
— Hungryhungryannapillar (@Hungryhungryan1) November 14, 2019
Angie’s father rocked up to give us a lesson in toxic masculinity.
Angie’s dad needs some lessons in gender stereotypes. #BacheloretteAU
— Isobel Ardent (@isobelardent) November 14, 2019
But seriously, despite the haters, we fucking stan Timm.
Timm twirling in a circle while they overlay footage of him saying he’s ‘more serious’ without a moustache is EDITING GOLD #BacheloretteAU
— charlotte 💫 (@charborland__) November 14, 2019
Me when the last piece of chocolate I hid in the fridge is still there and no one in my family has eaten it.#bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/1x2R4Uvpty
— Ellen (@Ellz88) November 14, 2019
And when I say stan…
Timm waiting to meet Angie’s family: pic.twitter.com/z7y6DeR64B
— Spears (@AlexxxxSpidey) November 14, 2019
… I mean whole-bloody-heartedly stan.
https://twitter.com/motelcalifcrnia/status/1194900875807883264
We also appreciated his attempt at being sensible. Gold star bébé, you tried.
https://twitter.com/motelcalifcrnia/status/1194898722427027456
https://twitter.com/fiddy_kay/status/1194898346567012352
Okay, but seriously, I’m actually screaming at how savage you all are to Carlin.
Angie’s Mum just called him Timm.
That’s probably the nicest compliment anyone’s given Marlin in awhile!#bacheloretteau— Ellen (@Ellz88) November 14, 2019
Also, the following tweets are the tea. Brad…. homeboy, could, like, get it.
https://twitter.com/reesieboi/status/1194902485128794112
Angie’s brother though #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/CQ6v9j4Kgt
— Andy (@Skualg) November 14, 2019
Throughout the episode we were expecting Ciarran to burst into frame. Imagine.
https://twitter.com/jasonwilson76/status/1194902887291224067
I’m literally only watching this, with the hope that this angel descends upon us… #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/e7KR53RCYm
— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) November 14, 2019
Look, I’d discuss more aspects of the episode (I leave that to the recap) but, like, Twitter is literally 99.9% of people crying over Timm, so let’s absorb that.
If Timm doesn’t win this I’ll be that angry I’ll find a way to walk out of my lounge room #TheBacheloretteAU
— Dylan Alcott (@DylanAlcott) November 14, 2019
https://twitter.com/coolKjellberg/status/1194919857868816384
https://twitter.com/svssydanielle/status/1194922918595006464
Angie: I want a guy who can make me laugh
Also Angie: 2 of my top 3 guys are the human equivalent of the colour beige #TheBacheloretteAU— reality tv trash talking | Maeve and Torrie (@MaeveTorrie) November 7, 2019
Despite the questionable ending, you have to admit that was such an incredible season. I usually shut off on the Bachelorette’s seasons because the show’s entertainment often gets lost amongst bro codes and lad banter, but, GODAMN, these boys just showed how lovely modern masculinity can be. You’re all winners in my eyes, baby.
Timm, we love thee. In fact, you have so much influence right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if our PM (whomst?) announced an annual public holiday tomorrow in memoriam of your pure, pure heart.
Here’s to Timm being Bachie next season. MWAH.
