It’s The Bachelorette finale tonight, and while Angie Kent‘s landed herself two babes to choose from – mildly unhinged Timm and mildly beige Carlin – it’s important we remember the true winner of this season, and the one who no doubt would be holding that final rose if he had stuck around. Ciarran Stott.
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It is simply a fact of life that Ciarran was a) hot as shit and b) a bloody delight, as well as c) that Angie really, really liked him. Sadly, we saw him voluntarily leave after finding out his beloved grandma who raised him had sadly passed. It was an emotional farewell but a very understandable choice from our fan fave.
Now we come to a finale without C-Dog, and I for one am disappointed. He deserved a top spot, if not the title of Winning Angie’s Heart. And without a doubt, the man holds the title of Sexiest Bachie Contestant Ever. Do not question me on this! It is fact!!
Here’s all the times Ciarran made us horny.
1. Obviously, The Nude Shoot
It wasn’t just that Ciarran was starkers. Or that peachy lil’ ass. Or the fact it was pretty much smacked over our head how big his dick is, even if we didn’t see it. No, I think the real reason Ciarran’s nude shoot episode was so hot was his confidence – he just whipped his gear off and proudly stood there in front of cameras and 10 dudes who would love to chop his peen off, you know?
The guts, man. Huge vibe.
2. When He Wore His Shirts Unbuttoned To The Navel
Ciarran had this penchant for a heavily unbuttoned shirt, and I for one was all about it. I’m not usually one for chest tatts but on Ciarran? Get it.
3. This Outfit
Ciarran clearly had the best fashion taste, but it was this dramatic ensemble that really had me hot under the collar. The lapel! The Gucci-esque Harry Styles floral print! The HAIR! It was all working.
4. Any Time He Said “Buzzin’”
Look, I normally can’t stand English slang, like “you alright?” and “barmy” and whatever. But for some reason every time Ciarran said “I’m totally buzzin’” with his cute accent I swooned.
5. When He Opened Up To Angie About His Nan
Now, I’m not talking about when he broke down after the news his Nan had died hit him, that was just devastating and I don’t want to make light of it. I cried. For real. It was hard to watch, and I’m sure even hard to go through on national TV.
But remember when Angie asked him about his upbringing and he talked about his Grandma raising him, and how much he loved her? That was such a mood. How hot are people being honest and like, giving credit to the people who raised them.
Christ what’s wrong with me.
6. When He Was Just Upfront About Everything
The sexiest thing about Ciarran apart from the perfect ass/hair/vibe was his honesty. He was just so comfortable within himself that he didn’t give a shit about saying he had a nose job, or was a stripper. He was so completely upfront, in a way you don’t really get that much these days.
GOD I MISS HIM.
Here’s hoping there’s some curve-ball appearance in the finale, and Ciarran returns to win this thing.
