Bachelor In Paradise Australia 2020 is finally here! Sort of. It’s almost here – and as someone who has been dwelling in the bowels of MAFS for 900 years, it feels, I could not be more excited.
But every year it can be hard to recall who the fuck any of these people are, especially if you skipped entire seasons. Last year for example I had NFI who any of the dudes were on account of skipping both Ali AND Sophie’s seasons of Bachelorette.
Luckily, you have me – the sadcase at PEDESTRIAN.TV who watches all the reality shows religiously and knows everyone, including their star signs and what their lounge room looks like from my perch in their front yard tree. JK! JK! It looks into their kitchens.
Here’s your guide to Bachelor In Paradise 2020, so far.
1. Ciarran Stott
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7DV432hveX/
From: The Bachelorette 2019 (Angie Kent’s season).
The Fuck Is This Guy: He was a front-runner for Angie’s heart, bowing out in heartbreaking scenes when his Grandma, who raised him, passed away. He was a fan favourite, and notoriously modelled in the nude for life drawing – it was implied he had a huge wang.
Vibes For BIP: He’s either a total fuckboy or will have everyone vying for his love. It’s so hard to tell with these types of “characters”.
2. Timm Hanly
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9JYQRBnY3w/
From: The Bachelorette 2019 (Angie Kent’s season).
The Fuck Is This Guy: Timm was runner-up on Angie’s season, famously getting his heart broken right at the end when Angie chose Carlin. He was the other fan fave alongside Ciarran, both known for goofy personalities and being tattooed sexual gods. He is also my #1 fantasy D-List reality star boyfriend.
Vibes for BIP: Again, he’s either going to be a fuckboy or the one all the ladies fight over. Probably both for Timm tbh.
3. Abbie Chatfield
From: The Bachelor 2019 (Matt Agnew’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: Abbie was the runner-up on Matt’s season, and was positioned as the series villain for her competitive streak and sexual confidence.
Vibes For BIP: I predict BIP will be a renaissance for Abbie, where we’ll get to see her true self (not the edited-to-be-a-villain business). She’ll either fall in love and be one of the lead stories, or just breeze through confidently, winning the hearts of fans in the process.
4. Brittany Hockley
From: The Bachelor 2018 (Honey Badger’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: Brittany was runner-up (SO many runner ups this season!) slash co-dumpee on Honey Badger’s season – I say co-dumpee, because if you recall he chose NO ONE in spectacularly heartbreaking scenes. During the series, she was the #1 “wifey”, very mature, down to earth and sweet.
Vibes for BIP: If you’ve been listening to Brittany’s podcast with fellow Bachie alum Laura Byrne, you’ll know she’s single and ready to mingle. So I predict Brittany will be way more fun than she was on The Bachelor, and is likely to hook up with one of the nice guys from previous Bachelorette seasons.
5. Jamie Doran
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7fkHMzJjk1/
From: The Bachelorette 2019 (Angie Kent’s season).
The Fuck Is This Guy: Jamie was the stage 5 clinger on Angie’s season – pure chaotic energy, plenty of psychotic spiels to camera, you get the gist.
Vibes for BIP: As with all villains/psychos (read: Jarrod, Alisha, Keira) there’s a high chance Jamie will get his time to shine on Bachelor In Paradise this year. I expect he’ll be far less clingy, far more sweet baby angel.
From: The Bachelorette 2017 (Sophie Monk’s season), Bachelor In Paradise 2018.
6. Mary Viturino
From: The Bachelor 2019 (Matt Agnew’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: Mary was the chaotic energy of Matt’s season. Known for her extreme facial expressions whenever she was surprised, she hung around for a while but was never really a strong contender.
Vibes for BIP: She’ll either go the same was as Brittney Weldon, and be the same chaotic energy in Paradise – or she’ll do an about-turn and reveal a more… erm… normal side. I hope it’s the former coz she was a fave of mine in Bachie.
7. Brittney Weldon
From: The Bachelor 2018 (Honey Badger’s season), Bachelor In Paradise 2019.
The Fuck Is This Woman: Speaking of Brittney, she’s back again. She was chaos on Bachie, and chaos on BIP last year. She hooked up with Ivan briefly, before being dumped from the island.
Vibes for BIP: Is she going to have her own renaissance? Or just get dumped again? I could see Ciarran or Timm enjoying her wild personality, they seem quite similar.
8. Helena Sauzier
https://www.instagram.com/p/B80XR4hgIyS/
From: The Bachelor 2019 (Matt Agnew’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: Helena was known as the ice queen of 2019’s Bachie season. She made it through to the top few, but never really connected with Matt.
Vibes for BIP: Already we’ve seen that Helena’s not *really* the ice queen she was portrayed as. Her Insta is full of party pics and lols, so I reckon she’ll be a star this season of BIP.
9. Jessica Brody
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9aHzATgWg_/
From: The Bachelor 2019 (Matt Agnew’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: WELL. Jessica was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it contender for Matt’s heart, but she’s actually Insta-famous in her own right. The woman has 250k+ followers!
Vibes for BIP: We never really got to know Jess, and given the trailer shows her pashing with Ciarran, I’m expecting her to be central to the overall plot this season.
10. Cassandra Mamone
From: The Bachelor 2019 (Matt Agnew’s season).
The Fuck Is This Woman: Beats me. Lol jk, but she was definitely a lesser-seen gal on Matt’s season. She hung around for a bit before getting booted. Not much to report.
Vibes for BIP: But THAT means she has plenty of scope to reveal her stellar personality on Bachelor In Paradise. As we now know, it’s usually the people we barely knew on their first Bachie seasons that are the stars of BIP.
