Planning a nice, socially distanced Bachelor In Paradise viewing sesh with your mates for tonight’s premiere? Or maybe you’re in lockdown (sorry Melbs) and you’ll be doing the party on Zoom. Either way, you can get on board this very unofficial, probably not advised drinking game.
Quick disclaimer. If you actually played this, you would probably end up in hospital. So like, this is more of a read-only, enjoy the vibe kind of drinking game, ok? Do not try this at home!
Take A Sip When…
Someone arrives in a party shirt.
Good lord, these ex Bachelor folks love a party shirt. Have a second sip if party SHORTS are involved, too.
Someone mentions Instagram DM slides
All these ex-Bachie stars are “friends” and by friends I mean they all fuck each other while visiting other Aussie cities. Or at the very least, they try and hit on each other via Insta DMs. So there’s a high chance some DM action has gone down between these folks prior to the show.
Someone is shocked at the “Paradise”
Firstly, it’s always a grey sludgy hell-hole and secondly, as ifffff you all haven’t seen it on the past two seasons guys.
Take A Chug When…
We can pinpoint the moment someone’s heart breaks
The first ep is always chock-full of flashbacks and we already know plenty of runner up Bachies are present and accounted for. I predict we revisit Abbie, Brittany and Timm’s finales, which like – can we let these people LIVE! They already had to have their heartache broadcast on national TV once before, smdh.
There’s a smunty sip of a daiquiri
Expect bitchiness from the get-go, from both the guys and the gals.
Do A Shot If…
Someone’s already complaining about the humidity
It’s Fiji. I don’t know what you were expecting. You should have packed more hair products.
Someone’s already hustling for a rose
It’s the FIRST DAY but that won’t stop some cunning Bachies from playing the game.
Wais the bartender makes an appearance
WAIS WE’VE MISSED YOU.
Drain Your Bev If…
Timm’s still misty-eyed over Angie
Surely not, but hey if it happens I am 10000% here for it.
Some past series tea gets spilled
Sometimes we’re blessed with secret BTS tea from previous Bachie seasons. Sometimes, the Bachies stay quiet. Tea deserves a skull of your bev.
Osher does a sexy striptease
Hey, we can dream can’t we?
Bachelor In Paradise hits Channel Ten tonight. Prep your group chat!
