Just A Bunch Of Cracker Tweets From Tonight’s First Ep Of ‘The Bachelor’

That entire first episode of The Bachelor was a shit ton more entertaining than anything that happened in Richie/Matty J’s season and we’re all heckin’ here for it. Twitter tonight was a beautiful place. For one hour we forgot about bullshit politicians and had a quality laff at how good Channel 10 is at picking out real winners. If Alisha could live-tweet the night that would be great, she practically narrated episode one.

Before anything, if you haven’t given our fabulous recap a spin then you can do so, below.

And now to the People’s Twitters:

On the Sophie x Cat drama

Quick reminder: Cat from Bali-but–Brisbane said her ex and Sophie were getting it on a few weeks before filming begun – wow, so bad, two single people hooking up – must confront Sophie.

Sophie’s fully like ‘mate, piss off it’s episode one’ as the rest of Australia agrees Cat needs to plug her jewellery label and leave.

Bali Cat: “I don’t want to be the girl who says nasty things in front of nick… I want to do them when he’s not there but everyone else still is” #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/AdpnVReSXu

— mat whitehead (@matwhi) August 15, 2018

Cat speaks entirely in abbreviations taken straight from a 2010 MSN chat and I hate it #TheBachelorAU

— jackson langford (@jacksonlangford) August 15, 2018

"Will you come over with me?"

"AbsoLUTEly, I want front row seats for this" #TheBachelorAU

— Jenna Guillaume (@JennaGuillaume) August 15, 2018

‘Nick, Sophie’s dated my ex who was a single man’ #THEBACHELORAU

— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) August 15, 2018

Cat is here to kick ass and take names.

Names of girls that are now dating her ex.

Who is apparently not allowed to date anyone once they stop seeing her. #TheBachelorAu

— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 15, 2018

OSHER’S ON THE BALL TONIGHT.

Cass, Cass, Cass

I mean, I honestly don’t know how to summarise Cass so straight to the tweets:

#TheBachelorAU jarrod come collect your sister

— Destiny (@destiiny19x) August 15, 2018

Even our exchange student is flinching at Cass following them inside… #thebachelorau

— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 15, 2018

Best to never say “watch out” and laugh nervously when first meeting a potential partner #thebachelorAu

— Amy Price (@amyprice21) August 15, 2018

If you look closely, you can actually see Nick's penis trying to detach itself and flee as far away as possible from Cass. #thebachelorau

— Kristin ????️‍???? (@HanShotFirst___) August 15, 2018

Is Cass giving anyone else “I’m gonna collects Nick’s pubes and make a voodoo doll” vibes? #TheBachelorAU

— Em Rusciano (@EmRusciano) August 15, 2018

This GIF was used about a gazillion times:

The girl that jumped into the pool

I don’t even know her name but Jesus Christ what the hell.

"I regret everything" #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/FZiOdw85M9

— Jessica Lynch (@jesskalynch) August 15, 2018

*crickets* #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/gP7DRLJhGW

— The Bachelor Aus ???? (@TheBachelorAU) August 15, 2018

The Rose Ceremony

Literally just:

That was brutal. They didn’t even bother showing the three girls who missed out on a rose. So long, we hardly knew thee. #TheBachelorAU

— melissa (@melissa__ong) August 15, 2018

Literally WHO actually left? Help me out here @oshergunsberg We are trying to run a sweep. #ihaveskininthisgame #TheBachelorAU

— Adele Dazeem (@ngeecee) August 15, 2018

And Cass hugging the Honey Badger for TOO LONG.

Vanessa Sunshine

So we're meant to dislike Vanessa Sunshine, right? #TheBachelorAU

— Adele Butler (@adele_ebutler) August 15, 2018

I love her – she’ll probably leave the mansion of her own free will halfway through the season.

The Honey Badger and Brooke

Brooke and #honeybadgerhave connected on Dad Jokes. What more do you honestly need to find true love? #thebachelorau

— Tori Hodgman (@torihodgman) August 15, 2018

Brooke is wholesome and lovely and is the kind of person who’d hold a stranger’s hair back if she was drunk vomming in the nightclub toilets #TheBachelorAU

— Aliza (@AlizanotEliza) August 15, 2018

I mean ~ the ~ music played when they were together so that says enough.

Brooke’s the huge rugby/AFL (???) fan that also copped the Bachelor Pad key and the first rose sooooooooooooooooooooo if you scored Brooke’s name in the office sweepstakes you’re set.

The first rose of the season AND the key to the Bach Pad goes to Brooke ❤️ #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/4UHT7IzEM8

— The Bachelor Aus ???? (@TheBachelorAU) August 15, 2018

In conclusion:

Look, say what you will about the death of tv but #TheBachelorAU into Mean Girls is the type of inspired broadcast scheduling that you just cant get on Netflix baybayyy

— ???? Jackson Ryan (@dctrjack) August 15, 2018

HELL YEAH.

It continues 7.30 tomorrow, Channel 10. 

Special mention:

People on reality tv shows are always talking about the journey. Ill tell you a journey – melbourne to sydney on the hume, done that a few times

— Aaron Gocs (@AaronGocs) August 15, 2018