Survivor is, without question, the greatest competition show ever put to air on TV. And this season of Australian Survivor is easily the best season the local iteration has ever produced. Christ alive it’s good. But as it turns out, the local season is committing one of the most egregious slights against its competitors you’re ever likely to hear, and it’s all happening off-screen.
[jwplayer 2TT8ymo7]
It’s well-known that players who get voted out of the game but make it to the game’s deciding jury are sequestered for the remainder of the game at the fabled Jury Villa, a magical-sounding place where they spend the time in between attending tribal councils actually enjoying the tropical Fijian sun while eating and drinking more or less whatever the hell they want.
As it turns out, that’s only half true.
Recently voted-out “Contender” Shaun Hampson (he played 98 games in the AFL how is he considered not a champion for god’s sake??) revealed that while the food menu at Jury Villa is indeed stacked, the drinks are severely limited to just two per-day.
TWO PER DAY.
Speaking to News.com.au, Hampson revealed the beyond-irritating titbit of information as casually as he ever could.
“You’ve got your own villa, you’re in Fiji by the water… but you can’t just leave; you’re there the whole time. I was there for 18 days. There’s lots of time to sunbake, and there’s a two-drink limit a day, which isn’t ideal, but they’re having to film a TV show, so we’ve still got to make sure we’re of right mind I guess. It’s OK but it’s certainly not as good as people would imagine.”
What the fuck.
Imagine pushing your body to breaking point, having a bloody challenge mangle the leg of a fellow contestant because it wasn’t stress-tested properly (LOVE YOU ROSCO), enduring the borderline-torture of that awful water breathing challenge that the sadists in the production decided to do at night in freezing seas because “nearly drowning” wasn’t enough by itself apparently, only to be turfed out of the game and have some Channel Ten boffin tell you you can only neck two stubbies a day while doing nothing for two weeks.
Unfair. Unconscionable. Hell, Un-Australian.
Ah well. At least Big Horse is making the best of it.
Turns out life in the Jury Villa ain’t too bad 🍺 #SurvivorAU pic.twitter.com/KJOlVCZbCj
— SurvivorAU (@Survivor_AU) August 26, 2019
Though I don’t think anyone’s quite prepared for what’ll happen when John Boy rocks up there and there isn’t a literal mountain of neck oils waiting for him.
You just cannot tempt certain fates like that.
