In some completely non-MAFS related reality TV news on the night of multiple finales, Mark Wales has taken out Australian Survivor: Blood V Water.

It’s been a cracker of an Australian Survivor season, with contestants going into the game paired up with a loved one, before finding themselves immediately placed on opposing tribes. It added a real layer to the game, with contestants torn between their loved one and their allies.

Mark was paired with his wife Sam Gash, who he met on the 2017 season. They have a three-year-old son named Harry, who made a lil’ cameo on the finale.

In a final four consisting of Chrissy Zaremba, Shay Lajoie, and Josh Millgate, the quartet of Australian Survivor hopefuls found themselves enduring a truly demonic final immunity challenge, which saw them stretched out over metal racks suspended above a waterfall.

It sounds like medieval torture, but it’s just another day on Australian Survivor, tbh.

Absolute gun Shay took out the final immunity, which happened to be her second individual immunity in a row. Her victory rumbled the other three, who were in a tight alliance from day dot.

Australian Survivor
oh did I win? fancy dat

After immunity it was more than a little awkward, given the fact that Shay had just blown up the others’ game. In the end, you’re always forced to look inwards and start picking off your mates. There can’t be two Australian Survivor winners, people!

While Chrissy sat with Shay telling her that Josh would never vote for her, Josh immediately bombarded Mark with a plot to fuck Chrissy (his biggest ally) off.

Meanwhile, Mark then Chrissy he was voting for Josh. Poor Chrissy, who hadn’t watched Australian Survivor before her brother in law Croc made her go on the show with him, was like a deer in the headlights.

It set up for an interesting tribal, with plenty of whispering and scheming going on before the final four hit the pen and parchment. Chrissy seemed honestly stumped right up until the last second, as she’d battled between “head and heart” voting all season.

In the end, she voted for her ally Josh, sending him to the jury and cementing her spot in the final three. To say he looked pissed off (despite also voting for her) was an understatement. He did manage to crack a smile for his snuffing, but didn’t even turn around and give the final three a cheeky “well played, guys”.

Australian Survivor
bye, binch!

The finalists then did their contemplative look back at the 47 days they’ve spent in the QLD wilderness, and if the gigantic hairy spiders they keep showing in b-roll actually exist in the campsite then I think they all deserve $500,000, personally.

Mark uses his pitch to talk about his carefully well thought our strategy and moves, while Shay calls out the fact that she had been on the bottom with no alliances the entire time and won four — FOUR — immunity necklaces.

Then Chrissy speaks about her strategy to go in and play a killer social game, calling out her various loyalties and the fact that she had her name written down on Day 5 and then not again til Day 41. Yowza.

Some tough questions were thrown at them — from Jordie putting Mark to the sword over his and Sam’s targeting of he and his brother, to Josh coming for Chrissy over her loyalty. Shay was asked by Michelle to rate her own game, and gave herself an 8.5.

Once the hard questions were done, it was time for the 10 jury members to vote — and all 10 voted for Mark given his combo of playing a strategic, social and physical game. A true all-rounder.