Attention birthday girlies and friends of girlies with upcoming birthdays, we’ve just sorted your celebratory sugar fix. As of right fucking now you can purchase yourself 650mL worth of “Viennetta Frozen Dessert Birthday Cake”. And no, this isn’t a dream.

Here’s the rundown.

Hop down to your local Coles, Foodworks or IGA with approximately $9 in your bank account and you’ll soon be the proud owner of this sprinkle-topped delight.

To quote The Saddle Club, “this is real, this is me, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be”. And where exactly is that? In the frozen foods aisle, of course.

My birthday isn’t until January but I’m thinking of making myself a DIY Viennetta advent calendar. An ice cream cake a day keeps the doctor away, right?

The product was launched specifically to coincide with Viennetta’s 40th birthday. And may I add my happy returns!

A corporate boss person at Unilever (the parent company of streets) Perry Varol told delicious.com.au the company was very keen for the new treat.

“[We are] so excited to be bringing this scrumptious new flavour to the classic Viennetta recipe and give Aussies even more reason to roll out the Viennetta at their next birthday celebration,” they said.

I’m sure they are! I’d be excited too if my company possessed a legal way to essentially print money in the form of ice cream cakes. Go offfff.

Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the first time PEDESTRIAN.TV has reported on the ever-changing world of ice cream cakes.

Back in 2021, the mad dogs at Streets unveiled a Neapolitan Viennetta.

We can only assume this caused thousands of arguments across the globe with people jostling for the elite flavour — chocolate.

Also in 2021 (clearly a big year for ice cream cake news), mini Viennetta’s were unleashed into the world to mass hysteria.

Now, what are you still doing here? Go out and destroy your lactose-intolerant digestive system.