Friends, I require you to avert your eyes right over here and prepare your mouths to water like they’ve never watered before. I’m talking Warragamba levels of liquid. Why? Because Tip Top has launched cinnamon doughnut flavoured bread. Read it again and weep.

You may be thinking, Pedestrian writer, isn’t that just cinnamon toast? And you’d be absolutely fkn correct in thinking that. The difference is it’s made from that super fluffy Tip Top bread that they make all their good shit from, like their Golden Circle crumpets.

It’s also got a little bit of a sugary hit to it, making it taste just like a warm cinnamon doughnut when you toast it. Sounds like perfection because it is.

Now you don’t need to go to all the trouble of buying a new pack of Woolies cinnamon doughnuts every week just to watch them become empty in record time. Instead, you can buy a pack of this, and watch it disappear even faster.

Something we’re also not acknowledging is how incredible Tip Top toast tastes with butter. A cinnamon doughnut with butter is blasphemous. Mix the two, however, and I’m sure you can overcome all hindrances and reach complete nirvana.

tip top cinnamon donut flavour
Rumour has it this is how they look in the Woolies aisle.

Here’s how Woolies describes the yummo new product:

“This scrumptious loaf is soft in the middle but also crunchy on the outside when toasted. Each slice is slightly sweetened and made with delicious bursts of Cinnamon flavour.

“Toast a slice and it will fill your house with an irresistible aroma of freshly baked cinnamon doughnuts… or eat it straight from the pack… Just as yummy!

“Made with Cinnamon Bursts.”

It’s that last part that has sent me into a hungry spiral. Cinnamon bursts? So, like, delicious clumps of cinnamon? My belly rumbles and my mouth hungers. Masks on girls, gays and theys, we ride at dawn to the nearest Woolies.

You can catch this delisho new product at your local Woolies (or any major retailer) for just $5. Despite the fact that I’ve written over 300 words about a slice of bread, you better believe that I did it all of my own accord.

Tip Top, if you’re reading this, love your work. Send me some bread, this is fkn genius.

Image: Getty Images / Romolo Tavani